This past week, in my quiet time of reflection and meditation in the mornings, I have been reading up on some significant ways to improve our relationships with others and on how to appreciate the ones you have been blessed with. The author spoke of the most influential women present in his life since childhood and how he had been forever changed by the wisdom, life lessons and inspiration he had received from each of them. This got me to thinking about those wonderful women who have changed mine. The next few posts are dedicated to each one of you. You have all made an enormous impact on my life and I have learned much through all our adventures together this far. So I decided I need to share some of these teachings with you, hoping they make some sort of impact on your life. If not as big as mine, hopefully in some other profound and inspirational way!
When there is so much you can learn from someone, and it being an ongoing process, it becomes difficult to find a starting point to tell of all the lessons you have learnt along the way. This beautiful woman has been my mentor from a very young age, a close friend, teacher, life coach and voice of reason. She is also the strongest person I know, and has brought myself and my siblings through a great deal of hurt and difficulties faced through all our years growing up. She has sacrificed much. She has gone without so that we could have. So much troubles endured, but so many joys we have had … and we made it. We are closer as a family as a result. This amazing lady is my mum.
Of all the things my mum taught us, the first very prominent lesson that has always stuck in my mind is the lesson of the ‘Yesterday Today Tomorrow’ bush (species name Brunfelsia Pauciflora). When I was very young, before the age of ten, we used to have one in our garden not far from my bedroom window. The fragrant smell was marvelous and still one of my favourites to this day. If any of you know what plant I am talking about, you will know it makes three different colours of flower on one plant. A new colour blooms each day, giving it its nickname. Unlike other flowers, this plant’s flowers never last very long, just like our lives from day to day. My mum taught us that life is a lot like this…
• Yesterday is past, gone, history. There is nothing any of us can do to change what has happened before. No amount of worry, regret, guilt or stress will ever bring back those days. So forget about the bad and remember the good – in this way, you will be taking the negative and turning it into positive, all while focusing on the good things and remembering how far you have come, what you have learned and how this has strengthened and improved you for the better.
• Tomorrow may never come. The thing about life is that we never know what is coming next. Sure you could have faith and positivity as big as the entire world, but no one knows when their day has come to depart this life and move on to the next. Only God decides that. There is nothing we can do to change what will happen next, what events will emerge, or which people will enter our lives, until it takes place. If this is so, why worry? There is no use burdening your mind and heart with things that have not yet come to pass – do not focus on the future.
• Today – it is all we have. And this is also a fragile hope, because we may think we have the entire day yet to live, however in an instant things could change. I learnt this lesson fifteen years ago when I was in a very bad accident, including various other adversities throughout the years that followed. All we are ever guaranteed is the here and now. We should be living our lives for today. As the famous old saying goes: Carpe Diem, meaning “seize the day”. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, we should be seizing every moment and opportunity we can to truly live, while we still have the chance.
The next lesson which is also just as important to me and a very similar message, is that God’s timing is perfect. Things will always happen when they are destined to, when you are ready, and when the time is right. I learned that “everything happens for a reason”. And it really does indeed. Most, if not all the time, we don’t understand why things happen the way they do. I can hear my mum telling me this now, and remember in the beginning I did not quite understand this lesson until I had been through it a few times. This valuable nugget of wisdom has helped me through many things once my heart finally learnt it. There is always a lesson to be learned from whatever we face (good or bad), a new direction we should be taking to lead us to where we are destined to be, certain people cut out of our lives for our own good, the right job to come our way, the right friends, circumstances, etc. The possibilities could go on and on. Remember to always trust and have faith that things will work out well – stay positive, stay focused and stay happy!
On that note, this just reminds me of the something else we were always taught. Growing up, we had a tough time getting by. Living through our parents being divorced at a very young age and my mum struggling to make ends meet, whatever food, clothing and any other opportunities came our way; my mum taught us the value of appreciation and gratitude for all we had. There is always something to be grateful and happy about. No matter what our circumstances, we are always blessed and fortunate in ways others in this world aren't. Even if it is to be alive, that is at least one blessing to count. We will never be happy until we decide to be, if we can just look at what we have and see we have a lot more going for us than a lot of those unfortunate out there.
Going through tremendous bouts of depression during school, caused due to many factors I had to face growing up, my self-esteem and confidence took a very hard knock. I could not see a way out plenty of days I faced this affliction. It was something I carried into my adulthood and finally overcome, but it all started with these wise words I was taught: “You are unique and one of a kind. You are special and have a very important role to play in life. You have a destiny to fulfill, a reason for living, a purpose divinely set out for your life.” My mum taught me these things since I was in high school, and although I couldn't see it at the time, I can clearly now that I am older. We are all equal, no matter what you look like, what gender, race, orientation, likes/dislikes, and everything about you – it does not change the fact that each of us are special and alive for a reason. Remember that if ever you feel like giving up. No-one can be you except for you. Why would you want to be anybody else, or please anybody else, when you are one of a kind!
Of course there are many more virtuous morals and values and I have taken to heart but to speak of all of these, I would have to write a many more posts! Next time, I will be sharing some more wise lessons learned from some more inspirational women I am blessed to know. Have a beautiful week and remember to count your blessings!
