Setting Goals: New Year’s Resolutions, practical or not?

So here we are, at the dawn of a new year. As I look back on the previous months (my usual annual 'ritual'), I reflect on all that I have accomplished and oftentimes, all the goals that I have not yet achieved. I used to get quite despondent, and sometimes the sneaky feeling of failure crept into my mind. A few years ago, when I reached my 30’s, I realised that my list of ‘resolutions’ I once made, did not get very far to completion. Most of those on the list, did not even make it. Frustrated and at times in depression, I found myself wondering what to do that could turn things around for myself.

So I started making a list of short and long term goals, then by looking at this list often, working out what can I do to bring myself closer to them. Getting older is serious business, especially when you want to get far in life – or at the very least, get to certain milestones and successes one strives to reach. Resolutions are quite useless I have come to learn, and luckily not too late, unless we are going to make a conscious effort to stick to them. We simply cannot say, "this year I am going to do..." and then keep on repeating our resolutions and try to get around to it. No, this ends up just being words without action. We need to work out a plan and specific goals on how to get there. Break it down, step by step, and focus on them individually. Remember what I always say, about actions that speak louder than words?  Well this works entirely in all situations. We need to make sure we set all our goals, and try with all our might and try do what we possibly can to get there.

When you reach a certain age, you may find yourself looking behind, seeing how far you come and find yourself not where you ought to be or not having progressed as far as you would have wanted to. Or you may even look ahead in fear, worrying that you may not ever get there. However, there is good news! Although these things may be true, we cannot change the past. It is impossible to go back to undo one single moment, one single wrong decision or any difficult situation that has occurred. Equally, we have no power over what tomorrow may bring, we may have even left this life when that day comes. But – and this is a very big ‘but’ – we do have the choice to live in the here and now, it is all we ever are guaranteed of. You can make decisions and choices right now, to change the course of your future. You can ultimately write your own story for the coming days ahead.

Certainly, bad days will come. Stressful periods and circumstances will rise up against you in apparent defeat. People will come and go, good times will pass, but only for a time. Everything in this life is temporary. Although some things may last, such as true love, friendship, family and other blessings – not everything stays constant. Just please, whatever you do, do not give up and do not despair! Do not for one minute think that things will not change for the better – because they do. It is all in your attitude and the way you handle what comes your way, that determines how you fare through those rough stormy seas. Stay positive, stay focused and keep working at how to get through what you are facing and keep working towards your goals. Even if one by one, working down your list of goals, will get you there eventually.

If it so happens you find yourself at the end of the year and looking at your goals for the past year and find yourself feeling down because you have not achieved all you want, you will at least still have made progress. Make another list, start the new year with the same enthusiasm, positivity and joy – knowing you will work at the next lot of goals (even if some of them are from the year previously) – and keep moving forward. Don't stand still. You can do it!

New Day, New Year, a New Perspective on Things

Well, the new year of 2014 has finally dawned upon us and the memories of Christmas and the Festive Season all gone by. What was only a few weeks ago, seems like a distant memory now. Some of you, like me, have recently returned from holiday and are back at work/school/studies and the like. And in true New Year traditions, we find ourselves looking behind us on the road from whence we came; but also ahead to what is before us.

Resolutions – always something most of us consider at this point in time. Have you thought about what you would like to achieve this year? I believe this is a very good tradition in that it allows us to re-evaluate our dreams, goals, and things we have and would still like to achieve going forward in our lives. However, let us not dwell too much on the past; we need to look at right now.

As my mom always taught us growing up, there are three times you go through in life: yesterday, today and tomorrow…

• Yesterday is gone. It is over, and there is no going back. Time moves forward endlessly with a force unstoppable. So there is no point in reflecting too much on what was. Nothing anyone could possibly do will ever change that, and no amount of worrying and stressing on the past can change what was.
• Tomorrow is uncertain. Who is really assured of a tomorrow? No-one knows for sure they will even live past today, so why worry and fret over future events which have not happened?
• The only day one needs to truly focus on is today. It is the very moment we are in right now. All we have is the present, and it is in this very moment that one can make a change, live to the fullest and be the best you can be. Plan for what’s ahead, of course, but do not forget that one must leave the worry out of it!

Now is the time to grab hold of what you love, and what you want in your life. The perfect time may never come, and you could miss out on something amazing. So don't let it pass you by. Take the opportunity to tell the person you love how you feel, use the time you have to do what you have a passion for, plan that trip or read that book. Anything really you want to do, do it now! 

So, with this in mind, where have we come from this past year? Are there perhaps goals and dreams you perhaps did not accomplish last year? Do you feel like you failed? Don’t meditate on it. Remember you are blessed with another day, and it is a new year. It’s a new year to plan ahead and set new goals, or try again on old ones. You have been blessed with another chance to make a change. As I say this, I am pondering on my own life too, so take heart, you are not alone...

Look Ahead - Not Backward!

I was sitting here at home just a moment ago, thinking back. Back on the year (and years before) gone by. Wow, so much has happened in just this year, let alone all the others before that. Incredible isn't it, when reminiscing as such, you realise how far you have come?

As we approach Christmas, and then New Year’s Eve after that, a lot of us will find ourselves looking upon our past year and what has led us up to what is right now. I admit; a lot of your and my choices I have made have ended up in disaster. But then I consider to myself, what of all the good choices we have made? As I mentioned the other day, everything happens for a reason! What is done is done. It is behind us, and so now we find ourselves upon the precipice of decision to move on: we are all the wiser, have added knowledge, are even stronger, and more mature. Hopefully, we have learnt from what we endured. If we haven’t, it is best to start now. What better time to do so anyway before the next year dawns upon us?

We needed to go through the trials, the hardships, and even the good times. The retrenchments, breakups, accidents were necessary for our growth. The new jobs and promotions, new romance or friendships, and other things we are blessed with – all very essential for our life’s journey. The bad experiences along with the good are there to teach us. Don’t fall short and lose the lesson which you can learn from what you have been through. Grasp it, analyse how you can use it to your advantage, and learn the lesson (however small) – and grow.

Again contemplating on what was, I turn my thoughts yet again to what is to come. Life is to be travelled forwards, not backwards. Remember that. So look ahead, look to what is now. Look at your future and how you can apply what you have learnt in life. Pick yourself up out of the pit of sorrow, pain, hurt, disappointment, depression – and move on to the next chapter in your life. Things always get better, and awesome days are ahead of you! That is a fact.