Adventures Abroad - Don't Give Up on Your Dreams

 Ever since I was a child, I had a deep longing to explore. As I got older, my knowledge and awareness of the world around me expanded. I learned of spectacular, amazing, exciting countries and locations. My eyes were opened to a wide world of opportunities. So much to see, would I ever be able to see it all?

Ireland, one of the first countries I discovered through a film I watched, captured my heart. Being a fervent fan of all things historical and mythological, the wealth of folklore and rich history astounded me to the core. Europe in general interested me, but not as much as this beautiful land.

I had just become a teenager when my high school history teacher taught us about heritage. We were given an assignment on family trees and instructed to do some research on our family history to be included in our project. Needless to say, I was incredibly thrilled to uncover that some of my ancestors had migrated from the gorgeous, green lands of Ireland. Ultimately, this inspired me even more. My first destination was set in my heart. It became my wish, my dream, my goal.

As the years went by, I did not for one moment let go of this vision. Although life brought me a multitude of distractions and many peaks and valleys in my journey, my desire to travel abroad remained strong.

Many years later, both my brother and sister along with their respective families, emigrated to Ireland in search of better opportunities. How I wished this could have been me! Their tales and photographs of all the wonderful places they visited in their adventures reignited my life-long hope to do the same. So many years passed, and still, I had not found the means or opportunity to make this a reality.

Finally, after several years of waiting for my opportunity to arrive, I was blessed with the means to travel abroad. A generous, awesome gift and just in time for my birthday too. What better way would be than to celebrate with my family after so long, and in a different country? The time finally came when I was jetting off to a marvellous, magical place. My whole being was filled with pure joy, thrill, and wonder as I realized it was all finally happening for real. 

Though I saw so many phenomenal places and had not seen all there is to see, it is but a small fraction of the possibilities out there to experience. The castles, ruins, monuments, ancient locations, and stunning landscapes I explored are forever etched in my mind. I left a piece of my heart in Ireland, but I remember it with gladness and I know I will be back someday. This was an adventure I will never forget, the first of many more yet to come.

You may feel that your dream or goal may never come to pass, but do not give up! You never know what the future may bring or when your moment will arrive. So keep dreaming, keep on believing, and most importantly of all, keep working towards what you want to achieve. With enough perseverance, positivity, and patience, you will get there. 

      

Life Lessons on Time

It has been nearly two years of not writing here on my blog, and I must say how I have missed it! So much has happened since the last post, good and bad, yet unfortunately I seem to have let the bad stuff and the busyness of life get the better of me by allowing my inspiration to cease in all the craziness. That is changing now, as I have been on a journey through this period of rediscovering myself, growing and learning a lot, as well as getting back to goal and intention setting for the way ahead of me. There is so much to write about and share, I have my work cut out for me now! Yet no complaints, all smiles and happy thoughts as I write this because I know through all the stuff that has happened, even though I have been through some tough situations, I have no regrets because it is all working for my good and taught me some valuable lessons I needed so desperately to learn. Now that I am back to writing again, I look forward to continuing sharing all the lessons and inspirations of life I am learning along the way!

Where do I begin? There have been some major events that have taken place, and significant lessons learned as a result. I think these things are of vital importance for not just me, but for us all to take note of. One of the main things that has stood out for me the last year and a half, is of the frailty and uncertainty of life. Last year two of my close friends and a family member passed away, followed this year by two more friends in the last few months. It has been a real eye-opener that time is promised to none of us. This I know, but is as always a good reminder! It has been tough to deal with so much people leaving this world; because like me, there have been some friends of mine also who have lost people in their lives also through this same period of time.

The lesson in all of this for me has been to make sure I focus my attention on the people who really matter and are present in my life, the things I care about and love, and to start seriously working towards my goals and dreams – because these are what has real significance. Too often we get swept away by life’s issues, work, tiredness and being busy with everything that comes along day by day. And then, before we realise it, days / months / years have passed and we have not achieved what we have set out for, or spent time with our families or friends we have wanted so desperately to do for so long.

When one starts having so many people pass away in a short space of time, one cannot help but sit up and take notice of life in all its beauty and value. Not just have I realised life's improbability, I also became conscious of my own mortality and the reminder of my near-death experience I had many years ago. This has resulted in me finally gaining the last bit of motivation I so desperately needed at last to continue working at achieving my dreams and goals. These events have been a wake-up call to me, after getting distracted by life and procrastinating way too much – a personal goal and improvement I thought I had completely overcome after working so hard on myself with this. Thankfully, things are now back on track and I have begun to focus my attention to where it needs to go. Positive and exciting changes, improvements and processes are ahead as I have begun my journey to accomplishing what I need to.

I was reading an inspirational piece the other day, which had the same theme which made me sit up and take notice. It’s amazing how by some Divine Plan all these messages and signs come to us, if we are open and attentive enough to see and hear them! The author was saying that anyone who ever accomplished anything great in life (for example: Albert Einstein, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, to name but a few) had the exact same number of hours in their day as we do. That today we have more ways to solve more problems and get more done in a single day than have ever existed before. He went on to say that our “lack of time” is not a time problem, but a priorities issue. How profound! We need to refocus our awareness on who and what matters in our lives, and stop chasing those which do not serve our purpose. Be grateful for each day, for life, for your blessings. Our time here is limited. We are only assured of today – no, we are only assured of right now. It is all we have. So, let us make the most of it, before we end up living in regret. There is a lesson in this for us all.

Making Time for People and Priorities

The other day I was speaking with and encouraging a friend who has been going through a difficult patch of her life, when I came to realise that what we were talking about was this exact lesson I have learned in totality in this last year of my life. We were discussing the concept of time, the making use of the time you are given right now, and the fact that so much of it is wasted on the wrong things, activities and people. We need to have a balance, we agreed. As I have said in the past on many an occasion, time is not guaranteed to us and the ever-ticking clock of time stops for no-one.

For a while now, I have been focusing on what is truly important in my life. There are a few things that brought this on. For one; the constant reminders when speaking of my goals and dreams to friends, family, colleagues, etc. and realising I have not achieved a lot of them … yet! This along with the realisation as I approach my next birthday, and thinking how crazy it is that it is just around the corner again. It has been a busy year. However, this is not much of an excuse. I read something the other day by American Author H. Jackson Brown Jnr, where he speaks about this very thing in his book entitled, “Life's Little Instruction Book.” These are my favourite quotes, which have such relevance to this concept of time and life:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
“Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”
“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”

This got me to seriously start thinking on many things – things I think we all ponder on at times:
• What am I spending my time excessively and unnecessarily on?
• Am I being wise with the amount of time I have and doing the things I love doing (and better be doing, working towards my goals and dreams)?
• What can I do to simplify my life and focus on that really matters?
• Am I wasting time by doing too much of something that does not have much value or procrastinating when I could be doing other, more meaningful stuff?
• Is there anything that I still let bother my mind and overthink that causes me stress, and wastes my time letting problems / worries / people / work cloud my mind when I could be focusing on positive things that keep and make me happy and motivated?
• Are there any people I am ‘running after’ who aren’t bothering to make an effort – in other words, always texting / calling / trying to make plans when I could be focusing my attention on those that really want to be there (instead of saying they want to or will be, but then don’t)?

There is always room for improvement here. I don’t think we can fully master it, but we can get pretty close. We are only human after all. In my own life, I have made tremendous progress with this way of positive thinking over the years. Sometimes though, I find myself slipping off the edge of this high road I have climbed up for so long, only to find a good friend that’s been walking next to me reach out their hand of encouragement and hope – and I am back, stronger than ever. This visit with my friend was one of those times. We sat there talking about the wrong things and people taking too much of our valuable time. And so, like the proverbial light bulb going on above my head, I remembered that I originally had learned this lesson many years ago and this was just another one of those moments reminding me of this!

From what I learned this far through my own experiences and the lives of those around me, is that it really is not worth wasting your precious time on anything which is not contributing to your life. If you do not start prioritising now, before you know it, so much time has passed (and wasted) where we could be doing the things we love and work towards our future. Similarly the same is true if there is anyone who doesn’t go to the effort to spend time on you as you are trying to invest in them. Perhaps you find you are chasing after them by contacting them all the time and there is no reciprocation, no reply or no effort at all. This is when it is time to say goodbye and focus on the ones that really want to be part of your life and keep in contact. This is why, on almost all occasions, I withdraw myself and go silent for those type of people. People say a lot, which is why I watch what they do, and it will show if a person’s intentions are true because the two will match up. Why should any one of us always make all the effort, when it takes a mere several seconds to send a simple text if you cannot call or spend time with them. There is something that is called self-respect and loving oneself enough not to allow yourself fall into this trap. It is too easy, especially for us that care too much about those around us. We need to keep reminding ourselves of our worth and knowing that every type of relationship requires effort from both sides – no matter who you are. Don’t give up your time for the wrong people!

Tomorrow is not certain and it we should be using our time wisely and usefully. In the end, there is only so much of it! I have become very aware of my mortality over the years, especially after being in a few motor accidents, as well as having had a few friends and family pass away too soon. Once the time has passed, our window of opportunity closes where we had an opportunity to do something, go places, experience an adventure, spend time with someone important (especially family), or even to be with someone you want to share your life with. Once this moment or period has passed, it has passed! There is nothing you can do to go back. Make the most of whatever opportunity presents itself to you. Cut out anything or anyone that is wasting your time, effort, and affections. Don’t waste any more time. The time is right now, it is all we ever have. Dare to live, dare to experience life, and dare to make this your best life possible.

Be Adventurous!

Upon the work desk, my phone buzzed – a notification – it was my best friend who sent me a voice note. As I listened intently, I could hear the excitement in her voice: “My friend, you are the proud winner of a weekend away to Splashy Fen, a whole four days with me!” After a few seconds of the mind-numbing news, the realisation hit me and excitement filled my being. This music and arts festival is one I have wanted to go to for many years and is held every year over the long Easter weekend. Since I was younger, a lot of my friends had had the opportunity of experiencing it. Now it was our time. Finally. I had not ever won anything in my entire life, yet here was my friend making that a reality too by inviting me along after winning two tickets to go. This was to be a time I will never forget. “We’re going on an adventure!” I exclaimed back enthusiastically in a reply voice note, in true Bilbo Baggins style (if you have read the book or seen the film ‘The Hobbit’ by J.R.R. Tolkien, one of my favourites, you will understand the comparison). Our very own adventure, another of many which we enjoy so much together.

The days and weeks passed, rather slowly at times, as is the norm for anticipated events. But the day finally arrived, after much planning, discussing – and waiting. We were ready to go! Road trips are always a favourite of mine, travelling to different places you do not normally go and all the sights and smells to behold. The fresh air especially, when going into the countryside, is the best. Stopping along the way at another good friend of ours, we visited to say hello, and got spoiled with a delicious healthy smoothie but then were back on the road. The road was easy but fun, and our destination: Underberg. Set in the lower foothills of the Drakensberg, beautiful route, stunning venue and countryside where we found ourselves. Four days of camping, watching live concerts and acoustic performances, as well as arts and craft stalls to see, yoga sessions in the mornings to wake up and start your day the healthy way. Especially for those who had just a little bit too much to drink the night before. There were many of those. Some nursing hangovers or sleeping in from a late night the night before. Not us though, we were there to enjoy our time to the fullest. Let us not forget too, most importantly, time together and with the friends we ran into whilst there. Happy days!

Through this adventure I was reminded how vital and healthy it is to experience life in this way. It is so necessary to grab hold of opportunities and experiences that come our way, because these fill our being with joy and fulfillment. After all, we only have so much time to do them, or do all the things we love. As I have spoken of in the past, we never know when our time is up – so make it count. Go to lunch with your friends, call or text that friend you have not spoken to in a while, choose to take that road trip to your favourite beach out of town, get away from home and take a trip somewhere for a weekend, do spur of the moment things, step out of your comfort zone - even if just a little bit. The opportunities are endless. Similarly we could also decide the opposite. Perhaps today is the day we are staying in (instead of getting out as usual), and end up staying in bed (alone, with our partner, or with friends, and watch movies all day (especially during rainy weather, my favourite type). Whatever the case is, take the opportunity that is presented to you. Be adventurous! Explore, experience, enjoy! You won’t be sorry you did. You never know if the opportunity will present itself again.

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 3

During Easter weekend, has seen a long-time wish fulfilled. Many years of prayers answered, it all happened so quickly. Just last time I was speaking of how it has been a goal of mine to go and visit my Grandmother who I haven’t seen in ten years. Thanks to my awesome parents, and much Divine Intervention, I finally saw this become a reality. What a blessing to be able to see and spend time with her again, an even bigger blessing for my parents helping to make this a reality, and for her being ready to come back home. Thanks to my brother and family as well, she is here, at long last! 

It has been remarkable, hearing your stories as well as all the amazing feedback from those who sent me messages, mail and Facebook comments. Your support and sharing has been rewarding to say the least. Through the reminiscing on all things I have learned, the fond memories, the amazing women I have been blessed by – I am glad to see it has been blessing your lives by inspiring you too. This is the last in this series. I hope you all continue find some more insight into life from these three wise women I know, who I am proud and honoured to call close and treasured friends of mine... 

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Many years ago, after I left school and after my motor accident, I moved back home during my recovery period. Not long afterward, while going back to our family church, I became friends with an amazing friendship circle – some of which are friends from school and some still my friends to this day. After one of our first get-togethers, which happened to be a movie night at a very good friend’s house, I became friends with his mom that evening. We instantly connected and this remarkable woman of God truly inspired me from the first moment. 

What a perfect example to prove that the right people come into your life at the right time, and for a reason!  My friend Tina has always been voice of reason and encouragement, through various chapters of my life. My oldest mentor besides my mum and gran, she has always uplifted my spirits when I have felt down, made me feel important as I (and we all) should be, and refreshed my faith at many times I needed it the most. At this stage of my life I was going through much depression and anxiety but she always made me feel safe and reminded me that we are loved and are not alone. Even when we feel alone, we should know that we are surrounded by divine love. Like God, love is not visible, but that does not mean it is not there. You are loved. You are exceptional. You are priceless and precious. 

The other lesson I learned through all of this, is how each of us is a special and unique, beautiful creation. It does not matter who you are, where you have come from, what has happened or happening in your life, what you look like or dependent on what others think of you – regardless of any of these things, you are loved and accepted. You may not feel this at times, but there is always at least a few people in your life that feel this way about you. Yet, no matter what anyone says or thinks, only one person’s opinion counts – and that is God’s. Do not spend your life trying to impress anyone else, or trying to gain people’s love and acceptance. You were made for a purpose, so live it. Show the world who you are and don’t forget your own self-worth and remember not to let others make you feel any less. Be you, no one else can! 

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I moved back to my home coastal city of Durban just over ten years ago, after being away for a few years working in a different city far from home. Many terrible things had happened to lead up to that point, and I shall not into detail on that now, but let’s just say a change was needed – a new beginning. I escaped from everything harmful that was poisoning my soul and robbing me of my happiness. Longing for home and my family, I relocated back. There I started contracting for a new company and set out on the next chapter of my life. Not long after this, I met a wonderful and inspiring lady who worked at a pharmacy next door to my company. It was not long until we became very good friends ... and to this day Diann has remained one of my best friends, a wise mentor and pillar of strength and inspiration when times have been tough. 

Though times have been hard, difficult situations and tragedies have come to pass in the past few years, I came to realise that we are blessed no matter what happens. Even through the bad, negative things that come our way, there is always something good that comes of it. We may not see it at first, but it is definitely almost always prevalent at the end of it. At some times it may be just to make you stronger and get over a weakness, way of thinking or outlook on life and teach you something new. Whatever it is, always look for the positive, learn from your experiences and move on. Don’t stay in that bad place of depression and sadness. There is always something to be happy, grateful and rejoice over. Trust me, this has proven true in every circumstance for me, all thanks to this very essential lesson learnt. 

No matter the time in between we have seen each other, the distance apart we lived, or anything that came our way, furthermore I learned that true friends are forever. There are a few other close friends I am so blessed with in my life, and they too, have taught me this. A true friendship remains the same no matter what! Each and every time we message each other, mail, Facebook or call – nothing has changed our friendship – and I will always be grateful and appreciative for that. Through all that we have gone through in our lives Diann has always been there to lift my spirits, comfort with words of wisdom and direction, and taught me to stand firm and remember we are not alone throughout our lives. There is always at least a few people in one’s life who are there for you, including God. So don’t ever give up, do not lose hope. You are never truly alone. 

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The third (and definitely not least!) inspiring lady who always comes to mind, is my dear friend Sue. Almost six years ago, we met online on a social media website, where I learned she had the same rare heart condition my mum has. We instantly clicked. At around the same time, she was going in for surgery to assist correcting this condition. Hoping for the best outcome, whilst knowing how delicate a procedure and syndrome this is – I prayed. Pleased to say, Sue came out of it well, and we have remained best friends to this day. 

The strength, courage and faith which she displayed through this trial in her life and right in the beginning of our wonderful friendship inspired me enormously. It reminded me of my mum and the health complications she had faced already in her life, particularly with the same condition, and how strong both of them remained in God, whilst keeping their faith intact and not giving up on life. This has been a lesson I have learnt over and over through all the other hardships Sue had been through, yet she stood firm and endured it all. It taught me the value on how to be a strong through all times and weather the storms which come our way. We could be face the worst and most terrifying of situations, but it is up to us to have the right mind-set and positivity that we will get through it. Remain strong and know that the tough times will pass – and remember if there is nothing more you can do about it, to stop worrying over it and hang on to your faith that things will work out in the best way. 

An additional big inspiration to me, is that I learned also the meaning of true friendship through Sue, like I did with other close friends. We both stay in different countries on practically opposite sides of the planet. We never get to see each other in person, but yet the friendship forever remains the same. It just goes to show that friendship is not measured by the length of time you know each other, or if you see each other often or not. True friendship proves when your relationship never changes, no matter what (and this goes for other types of relationships as well). It is in the depth of care, consideration and concern you feel for one another’s lives and well-being. By never letting each other down. To always be there for them, even if in spirit. This is what it is all about! 

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What better and appropriate way to end this series, around the time of Mother’s Day. A day amongst all the other days in the year to celebrate you and all you do for those around you. To all you beautiful, extraordinary ladies I have been inspired by and mentioned in this series who have blessed my life in ways I cannot count, I pay tribute to you all and want you to know how much you are loved and appreciated. Know also that you have forever changed and influenced my life in a grand way. Forever will I be thankful for all you have taught, directly, or indirectly, by inspiring me to be better than what I am. What I can say for sure is that my life certainly would not be the same without you all in it!

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 2

Last time, I began to tell you about the most influential and greatest women my life has been blessed with. For myself, I can definitely say it has been rewarding as well as enlightening to recollect the major things I have learnt so far. I sincerely hope you all have been (and will be) able to take something from the wise lessons I have learnt along the way. Many thanks to you all who have given me feedback and all your messages of support. I am so pleased you have all been inspired muchly!

Since I was born, I was fortunate to have another very incredible woman alongside my mum who taught me plenty of lessons I carry with me up until today. Whenever I spend time with her I found to be always motivated, learn much and gain a lot of valuable insight into life – physically and especially spiritually. My grandmother has always been a role model to me, a wise teacher, healer and a spiritual mentor throughout all the years of my life. One of the most true Christian people I know, my gran has always been a great inspiration to me. Sadly, for the past ten years, she has been living in another town far away on the other end of the country. She is missed every day. It has been a goal of mine for a very many years to go up and visit her but unfortunately this has not been possible yet. Hoping this year that it will become a reality, should I manage to get the means to and finances for it. Like I say many times, time can quickly run away with us, and so we need to make time for our loved ones while we can, in any way we can.

There are so many wisdoms I have treasured since young which my gran has taught me but I would say the most significant of these were those on life and the example she set for good, honest, Godly living. Her selfless giving and care for others in general always stood out for me. My gran was always there for us or others, always generously gave of her time and whatever resources she could spare. The ultimate sacrifice was ten years ago when she gave up basically all she owned to move away from the coast, move in and assist with looking after my uncle’s family when my aunt had had cancer at the time. This taught me the true meaning of sacrifice, selflessness as well as serving and loving others. Through this very valuable lesson, I also learnt from her that what you sow, that you will also reap. Also known as the law of karma, that whatever you give out, it will come back to you multiplied. Do good, be good, and live good lives. Be a blessing to others when you have the opportunity. Give selflessly, cheerfully, honestly. Give what you can, when you can – in turn, when it is you who is in a predicament, you will find that others will be there for you as well. God blesses those who look after others and give of themselves. It always comes back to you, no matter what you give out. Something I noticed throughout my life, is that my gran never went without, and just as she always reiterated “God will provide”, so it had been always!

Another much-loved value learnt from my dear grandmother, has to be that of the miracle of creation, the diversity and beauty of all things, including all human beings. Our long walks through the gardens at home where she and my great grandmother (my grandmother’s mum) lived, or our outings to the various beaches down the coast and other places we went; provided a perfect environment for an outdoor classroom in nature, teaching us much on this subject. One of my gran and great gran’s pride and joy was their garden of an array of a stunning assortment of many flowers, and through the terraced gardens we explored many times. Our frequent trips to the beaches near and far down from where they resided, also enabled us to see many diverse places, and sea life, as we explored each destination in its fullness. There was even a beach my gran took us to which had a small cove where millions of tiny little sea shells collected. The variety and uniqueness of these ranged vastly, and so through teachings at times such as these, she taught us to appreciate everything and everyone all around us – each being and creation a special individual and marvelous design. Each one of us is precious in our own way I learned, do not ever let anyone ever tell you any different. You have a very important part to play in life and have your own extraordinary place in this life, just as everything else does in creation. We are all one, all in this together. And each of us have just as much a right to live and be happy as the next person.

Up until midway through high school, my great grandmother also played a very crucial part in my life. We used to go visit her with my family for weekends or holidays up until she got quite old and my grandmother moved in to take care of her. Then we got to visit with both of them every time we went by. I remember the awesome English Breakfasts, the fabulous Sunday lunches and let’s not forget the deliciously mouth-watering baked goods! Everything was always so scrumptiously home cooked and full of healthy goodness. One of my favourite places to be, was at my great gran’s feet or by her side on the couch, overlooking the broad sea view and valley with its river which wound its way to the beach some distance away. The same river which came past the bottom of her massive  garden which terraced down towards it, away from her big house on the hill overlooking this magnificent view. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to all her tales of the old days when she used to live in England, or when she paged through the old photo albums telling me much of our family history, and all her many wise lessons on life. Sadly this only lasted up until high school until she passed. My other grandmother passed away long before I was born and has been unfortunate not to have gotten to know her. According to my mum, she was just like my gran and I would have learnt a lot from her as well. But the stories of her live on, and I find great inspiration and strength in hearing them, although she may not be here physically, she lives on in spirit. We remember them always, with fondness, joy and much love.

Well that is all for now, else I could go on forever reminiscing. I will be posting my next post (and last in this series) next week. Please feel free to share your own motivating stories with the rest of us, so we too could be enlightened by the lessons you have learned. Until next time; keep smiling, keep focused on your self-worth and the value of those you are blessed with. Let’s not forget those who have been there for you through your life who supported you, have always lifted you to new heights, successes and cared for you greatly. Make the time. Learn from them what you can, before it is too late.

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 1

This past week, in my quiet time of reflection and meditation in the mornings, I have been reading up on some significant ways to improve our relationships with others and on how to appreciate the ones you have been blessed with. The author spoke of the most influential women present in his life since childhood and how he had been forever changed by the wisdom, life lessons and inspiration he had received from each of them. This got me to thinking about those wonderful women who have changed mine. The next few posts are dedicated to each one of you. You have all made an enormous impact on my life and I have learned much through all our adventures together this far. So I decided I need to share some of these teachings with you, hoping they make some sort of impact on your life. If not as big as mine, hopefully in some other profound and inspirational way!

When there is so much you can learn from someone, and it being an ongoing process, it becomes difficult to find a starting point to tell of all the lessons you have learnt along the way. This beautiful woman has been my mentor from a very young age, a close friend, teacher, life coach and voice of reason. She is also the strongest person I know, and has brought myself and my siblings through a great deal of hurt and difficulties faced through all our years growing up. She has sacrificed much. She has gone without so that we could have. So much troubles endured, but so many joys we have had … and we made it. We are closer as a family as a result. This amazing lady is my mum.

Of all the things my mum taught us, the first very prominent lesson that has always stuck in my mind is the lesson of the ‘Yesterday Today Tomorrow’ bush (species name Brunfelsia Pauciflora). When I was very young, before the age of ten, we used to have one in our garden not far from my bedroom window. The fragrant smell was marvelous and still one of my favourites to this day. If any of you know what plant I am talking about, you will know it makes three different colours of flower on one plant. A new colour blooms each day, giving it its nickname. Unlike other flowers, this plant’s flowers never last very long, just like our lives from day to day. My mum taught us that life is a lot like this…
• Yesterday is past, gone, history. There is nothing any of us can do to change what has happened before. No amount of worry, regret, guilt or stress will ever bring back those days. So forget about the bad and remember the good – in this way, you will be taking the negative and turning it into positive, all while focusing on the good things and remembering how far you have come, what you have learned and how this has strengthened and improved you for the better.
• Tomorrow may never come. The thing about life is that we never know what is coming next. Sure you could have faith and positivity as big as the entire world, but no one knows when their day has come to depart this life and move on to the next. Only God decides that. There is nothing we can do to change what will happen next, what events will emerge, or which people will enter our lives, until it takes place. If this is so, why worry? There is no use burdening your mind and heart with things that have not yet come to pass – do not focus on the future.
• Today – it is all we have. And this is also a fragile hope, because we may think we have the entire day yet to live, however in an instant things could change. I learnt this lesson fifteen years ago when I was in a very bad accident, including various other adversities throughout the years that followed. All we are ever guaranteed is the here and now. We should be living our lives for today. As the famous old saying goes: Carpe Diem, meaning “seize the day”. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, we should be seizing every moment and opportunity we can to truly live, while we still have the chance.

The next lesson which is also just as important to me and a very similar message, is that God’s timing is perfect. Things will always happen when they are destined to, when you are ready, and when the time is right. I learned that “everything happens for a reason”. And it really does indeed. Most, if not all the time, we don’t understand why things happen the way they do. I can hear my mum telling me this now, and remember in the beginning I did not quite understand this lesson until I had been through it a few times. This valuable nugget of wisdom has helped me through many things once my heart finally learnt it. There is always a lesson to be learned from whatever we face (good or bad), a new direction we should be taking to lead us to where we are destined to be, certain people cut out of our lives for our own good, the right job to come our way, the right friends, circumstances, etc. The possibilities could go on and on. Remember to always trust and have faith that things will work out well – stay positive, stay focused and stay happy!

On that note, this just reminds me of the something else we were always taught. Growing up, we had a tough time getting by. Living through our parents being divorced at a very young age and my mum struggling to make ends meet, whatever food, clothing and any other opportunities came our way; my mum taught us the value of appreciation and gratitude for all we had. There is always something to be grateful and happy about. No matter what our circumstances, we are always blessed and fortunate in ways others in this world aren't. Even if it is to be alive, that is at least one blessing to count. We will never be happy until we decide to be, if we can just look at what we have and see we have a lot more going for us than a lot of those unfortunate out there.

Going through tremendous bouts of depression during school, caused due to many factors I had to face growing up, my self-esteem and confidence took a very hard knock. I could not see a way out plenty of days I faced this affliction. It was something I carried into my adulthood and finally overcome, but it all started with these wise words I was taught: “You are unique and one of a kind. You are special and have a very important role to play in life. You have a destiny to fulfill, a reason for living, a purpose divinely set out for your life.” My mum taught me these things since I was in high school, and although I couldn't see it at the time, I can clearly now that I am older. We are all equal, no matter what you look like, what gender, race, orientation, likes/dislikes, and everything about you – it does not change the fact that each of us are special and alive for a reason. Remember that if ever you feel like giving up. No-one can be you except for you. Why would you want to be anybody else, or please anybody else, when you are one of a kind!

Of course there are many more virtuous morals and values and I have taken to heart but to speak of all of these, I would have to write a many more posts! Next time, I will be sharing some more wise lessons learned from some more inspirational women I am blessed to know. Have a beautiful week and remember to count your blessings!

Through the Rainstorm

Through the past few months of struggle and strain, anxiety and aching in my heart; I continue to trudge through what’s left of the metaphorical rainstorm I found myself in. The sun has finally come out and the last few raindrops of residual stress are draining away. Through the retreating clouds, a beautiful rainbow of hope and happiness has appeared to me, and I realise the worst is over. Life is good regardless; if one takes the time to see the beauty in the rain, the rolling thunder, even the lightning and dreary days. Sure, it may be tough going through that storm, enduring it, and braving the face of danger and adversity that comes our way in life. However, there are always positives and days to enjoy the rain, despite our grumbles and groans on our circumstances at the time.

I have always loved this depiction of the difficult times we go through in life. Not long ago I had been inspiring a couple of friends to not give up, to keep on moving forward positively, and to look for the lessons we can learn through all our experiences in the storms of life (the good and the bad, especially the bad!). Yet I was unaware that my own storm was to begin rolling over the hills of my not-too-distant future. Encouraging my friends and sister to keep focused and happy was one thing, yet another when you yourself are suddenly going through the same things! It is tough to go through any kind of stress at work, relationships or sickness (be it your own or that of a loved one). Three of the greatest stresses in life, and we found ourselves right in the middle of all of them.

The beauty of a rainstorm is not only relishing in the washing away of all the dirt, muck and grittiness that surrounds us in our lives – yet it is in that cleansing and renewal that we need to place our focus. Everything in life happens for a reason, and we need sunny days as well as rainy ones. It is at times like these, that we need the unnecessary and destructive things washed away, including harsh and disparaging jobs, false and disloyal friends (or partners), overcoming health concerns… We must get our focus back on track and do away with anything that doesn't contribute to our happiness or add any kind of value to our lives. Change can be good – embrace it.

And once the roaring rain subsides, the clouds of despair scatter into nothingness, and the beautiful warmth of the sun emerge once more; your very own rainbow will appear for you to appreciate and adore. The end is near, just keep strong whilst marching on through it – with hope in your heart, and a smile on your face. Like everything in life, troubles and hardship are just temporary. Let’s all be thankful and grateful for this truth every day.

Keeping Our Hope in Love

The last month has been an incredibly difficult time for me. I found myself wrapped up in the stresses of life: moving to my new apartment, issues at the office, and being ill - but also hurt, rejection and betrayal from some people in my life which I thought would never happen. Yet through it all, I see the positive in all the craziness. I see the lessons to be learnt and gathered from all life's ups and downs. 

And so, I found myself losing hope in love. Not just romantic love, but even other types of love. Thank goodness the one type of love I will not fail to stop believing in, is that of the love God has for us. It is a love which never ceases, no matter what. And of course the love of my parents, which has demonstrated for me in my own life a kind of comprehension of how God loves us. In a few moments of despair, I found myself gripped and overwhelmed by the clutches of depression and anxiety. Through it all, I have learned some valuable lessons, to trust my instincts, who is always there for me, and who matters most in my life. 

So what do we do when we find ourselves losing hope? If life has taught me anything, it is that everything is temporary. Except for true love, which lasts forever, be it in whichever form. Yet in all of the troubles weighing upon my heart and mind, I found myself void of remembering this. But why does this happen I have been asking myself? 

Perhaps it is the apparent enormity of the issues one faces, the seemingly defeating stresses coming at us at each turn, or maybe the grief we feel at the loss of something or someone in our lives which brings our whole world crashing down all around us. Or so we think. It is easy to let these things overwhelm us and sink into a pit of despair, however it is easy for the person to say that things are not as bad as they seem when they are not in that valley of shadow. 

Something that has always gotten me through is remembering in a positive way that I have made it through so many other awful things, and that through every storm, there is always sunshine after the rain – and a beautiful rainbow! Never forget this, and keep pushing forward until you come out the other end in the warmth of happier, better days. You will make it, and you will be victorious! Things may get worse before they are better, but hang on; and do not lose hope. You are indeed stronger than you think.

I have realised I may not have a lot of good, true friends in my life; but if it weren’t for the many wonderful people I am so blessed with, I am sure my world would’ve been a darker place. The strength and love I have seen in these past dark days through these wonderful people have renewed my hope in love once again. Just because one finds yourself immensely hurt, betrayed or devastated by whatever circumstance befalls you – it may seem like all hope is lost, that you cannot love again, or that you will never trust once more – don't lose hope in love because Love will never give up on you. 

Reflection and Remembrance

The past few weeks have been eventful to say the least. I am back, finally and apologise for the silent, dormant pages that is my blog. Wow, I just cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since my last post. How they have flown. Busy days have come and gone – from my computer that crashed and needing to reload everything in its entirety, my scooter breaking down and trying to get it repaired, to sorting out a new one as a replacement, and then to organising my new apartment for my move end of the month. Big changes, but positive and exciting ones also. My week has also ended in sorrow, at the news of an old friend’s passing. How we should care for and pay attention those we are blessed with before it is too late!

Something profound also happened to me the past few weeks. In amongst all the hustle and bustle of daily life and all the happenings of the previous weeks, I realised that after my ordeal end of last year and the months of recovery thereafter; all the stress and strain I had been enduring had all been worked out for my good. Of course, I had gotten over it all initially, but the last few remnants of my broken heart had finally mended in the process. The busy schedule, combined with the many problems and issues I have been dealing with, all consumed my mind and helped me forget all that was. For those of you who do not know, I managed to escape from an abusive relationship that was doomed from the start. I look back now, and am amazed at how far I have come since those days, and how my life has changed for the better in every way, since I made a stand.

Now I look ahead to all that is to come. And I am excited, motivated, inspired. I am a lot stronger for going through what I did and now all the wiser. And so it is with many of life’s stumbling blocks, we need to turn them into stepping stones and move forward. The same way that time only moves forward, like an ever-flowing river, never ceasing for a second; so time ticks unbrokenly towards infinity. We cannot go back. Neither can we jump forward, we can only look down the river and its shores to what is ahead. Let us enjoy the present, wherever we are on our life’s journey. Let us also not forget our families and friends who need us by their side, before their journey ends. We cannot, no matter how much we worry over it, go back against the current of the river of time.

There is a quote I heard about a week or two ago, which has so much relevance to me now: “Time is like a river, you can never touch the same water twice because the flow that has gone by will never go by again. Enjoy your life today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Enjoy every moment of your life!”

We should learn from this, and remember it indeed.

The Greatest Valentine: Love for my Family & Friends

Valentine’s Day – a day numerous people all over the world utilise as a special day on which to spoil their loved ones, and show their love. However, we find more and more these days how the world around us has capitalised on this (as well as other holidays in the year). We sometimes seem to lose sight of the fact that we also don’t need one specific day to show our love and care to others, but in fact, every day should be like Valentine’s Day for those we hold most dear.

This year I had big plans for this Friday past. I planned on putting up this post too but am glad I was too busy and never got around to it; because really, as I have just said, is not necessary to express my feelings on just this one particular day and be clichéd in doing so! So, now that I look back on what was a rather eventful and rather ‘interesting’ evening, a few things have stood out for me.

My dear sister and I, made plans to do something together this year as we are both currently single. We went down to the beach to one of the bonfire parties they hold periodically in tribute of various festivals and special occasions. We were so keen. The beach is both of our favourite places to be, and under a full moon rising, even more so and magical a place we could not resist to be. This past week had brought about new stresses with it, things I learnt and experienced: being deceived again by someone I did not expect this from – and this after I was still getting over losing a best friend who did the same. Yet, I still had an aura of positivity wrapped around me, and nothing was going to destroy the evening I so looked forward to.

As I stepped onto the cool, soft sands of the moonlit beach, I could hear the sound of drums, music, laughter and merrymaking. The first voice which came to my ears was that of my sister, my best friend, my twin soul. Joy filled my heart and for a moment; I forgot about the doubts lingering in the dark corners of my mind. Here I was home. Here, amongst those who love me dearly. Nothing else mattered. Some friends of ours met us there, and in no time I found myself surrounded by some of the most awesome and amazing souls I know. Even some new ones who I got to connect with. What a pleasure, what awesome fun, and a good network of friends to support each other on this special occasion. As the evening ensued, I realised that even with things not working as we planned – even if we did not end up with a special someone as many would've liked this day – none of that mattered. I was surrounded by love, by the some of the great people I have been blessed with.

After learning a few truths over the weekend, by Monday I was over the hurt and frustration of it all. I finally had come to grips with the situations my sister, myself and two other friends had all been experiencing recently. I came to realise something which I have learnt many times in my life: should you be single, remember not to let it get you down. Do not for one second let any holiday or celebration depress you if you find yourself standing on the path of life with no partner by your side. For if you look around you just a little longer, a bit more carefully, you will notice you are not alone at all. There, all around you in a shroud of protection, a network of support; of love, care, upliftment and positivity – are the ones who never leave your side.

And that’s the greatest, most exceptional Valentine of all.

People False and True

Last week I lost a friend. I never thought it would happen, but it did. The harsh reality of deception, lies and betrayal led to a broken heart. Mine. But, as they say, life goes on - and you have to pick up the pieces moving on as best you can. To keep progressing one needs to continue on. One cannot linger on what was; only on what is now and push forward. It is not easy. Trust me, I can vouch for that. Just remember if this happens to you, whether a friend, partner or anyone else in your life lets you down - and you will have that - don't let it hinder your progress. Don't for one second let it break you. Please remember at all times, whatever you do, do not let yourself succumb to bitterness. You are worth much more than that to let yourself be defeated! 

God has placed people in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. A reason to teach us, or us to teach them. A season for us to grow and learn by something we are going through, or something we need to experience in life for a time to shape and mould us. A lifetime to be there throughout our lives for love, support and to teach us some very important foundations for living. This is a valuable lesson I have learnt throughout my life. We are also there to love, support and care for the people we are blessed with around us. But unfortunately, this is not always a possible sentiment received from others in your life. Yet it is important to learn and grow from whatever we go through, to move past the obstacle, and rise above it. Every little stumbling block you come across your path on the road of life, God will use either teach you, strengthen you or mould you into who you are meant to be. But it is up to us to grab hold of that opportunity to turn it into something that will build our character, not break it down. 

I find myself standing here looking at my life. And what I can see is all the extraordinary people I am left with: some I have known for very many years, others not as long. However all have a very special place in my heart. And I am thankful. So very grateful for those who are always there no matter what. Joy rises in my heart at the thought of that, and helps me forget the past betrayal from certain ex's and false friends. A wise teaching I have learnt through all this is that if people really care and want to be in your life, they will make the effort to do so. In learning this, I have come to a place of peace and let things be as they be. Life is too short to chase the wrong people, situations and focus on the wrong things... 

However, it is also sometimes not about the length of time you have known someone, but the depth of the connection you share. It is in recognising and acknowledging these beautiful souls, the blessings we have in our life and focusing on the right people; that make life so worth living. To good and true friends and wonderful people I am so fortunate to have by my side: much love, thanks and gratitude to you all. Thank you for remaining in my life. My heart and soul is glad to know you.

Things Strong People Avoid Doing

I often write about the things I believe we all should be doing, trying or experimenting with in order to maximize our success and happiness. However, it’s not always the things we do that make the biggest difference in our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.

However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.

These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:

1. Dwelling On The Past
Mentally strong individuals focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather this winter (something I have touched on recently!).

2. Remaining In Their Comfort Zone
The comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life. We need to truly and wholeheartedly live, grabbing the opportunities that present themselves - whether it is someone you love and want to make a life with, an opportunity, new career/job, etc. You never know when it will be your last day, and how we will regret the things we did not grasp when we had the chance! A very real truth shared by many on their death bed, according to studies conducted in many different studies I have read up n recently. More on that next time...

3. Not Listening To The Opinions Of Others
Only the foolish believe themselves to be sufficient in all regards. When it comes to brainstorming, ideas can’t so much be forced as they can be caught. A good idea is a good idea, regardless of whether or not you came up with it. Don’t let your ego get the better of you; if someone has great advice to give, take it. Once the moment has passed, you will never be able to get it back again!

4. Avoiding Change
What the mentally strong understand that the mentally weak do not is that change is unavoidable. Trying to avoid the inevitable is pointless. Therefore, trying to avoid change is pointless; it’s a mere waste of time and energy. Nothing in this life is permanent, everything is constantly in a cycle of change. So this is a reality we just have to accept at the end of the day.

5. Keeping A Closed Mind
You don’t know everything. Even the things you believe yourself to know are likely to not be entirely true. If you keep a closed mind, you are preventing yourself from learning new material. If you stop learning, you stop living. Knowledge is power, as they say.

6. Letting Others Make Decisions For Them
Only you should be making your own decisions; you can’t allow others to make them for you. All this does is shift the responsibility from you to someone else, but the only person failing in the end is you. If you don’t have the courage to fail, then you don’t have the courage to succeed.

7. Getting Jealous Over The Successes Of Others
When others succeed, you should be happy. If they can do it, so can you. The success of others does not, in any way, lessen the chances of you succeeding. If anything, it should motivate you to keep pushing forward. We are all here in this life together, we should show support and give credit where its due. What you do to others, will come back to you!

8. Thinking About The High Possibility Of Failure
Our thoughts control our perspective; our perspective controls our results. The mentally strong understand this and use this to their advantage. There’s always the chance you may fail, but as long as there is the chance you may succeed, it’s worth trying.

9. Feeling Sorry For Themselves
Stuff happens. Life can be hard. People get hurt; others die. Life isn't all roses and butterflies. You will fall off that horse again and again and again. The question is, are you strong enough to keep getting back on it?

10. Focusing On Their Weaknesses
Although working on our weaknesses does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on banking on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skill-set or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.

11. Trying To Please People
A job well done is a job well done, no matter who is judging the final product. You can’t please everybody, but you can always manage to do your very best.

12. Blaming Themselves For Things Outside Their Control
The mentally strong know the things they can control, understand the things they cannot control, and avoid even thinking about that which is completely out of their hands.

13. Being Impatient
Patience isn't just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don't fail because they aren't good enough, or aren't capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.

14. Being Misunderstood
Communication is key in any properly functioning system. When it comes to people, things get a bit more complicated. Simply stating information is never enough; if the receiving party misunderstands you, your message is not being properly relayed. The mentally strong do their best to be understood and have the patience to clear up misunderstandings.

15. Feeling Like You’re Owed
You aren't owed anything in life. You were born; the rest is up to you. Life doesn't owe you anything. Others don’t owe you anything. If you want something in life, you only owe it to yourself to go out and get it. In life, there are no handouts.

16. Repeating Mistakes
Make a mistake once, okay. Make a mistake twice… not so okay. Make the same mistake a third time, you may need to consider you are doing something wrong and not learning the lesson to be learnt from what you are going through. Keep pushing on. And as the saying goes: try, try and try again - but get it right in the end! You can do it!

17. Giving Into Their Fears
The world can be a scary place. Some things frighten us with good cause, but most of our fears are illogical. If you know that you want to try something, try it. If you’re scared, then understand that being scared of failing must mean that succeeding means a whole lot to you.

18. Acting Without Calculating
The mentally strong know better than to act before completely understanding the situation at hand. If you have time to ponder over something and cover all your bases, then do so. Not doing so is pure laziness. And if you have said you have felt a certain way or thought on something a long time - do not dismiss it and make excuses to shirk your way out of responsibility. Face your situation and grapple it head on.

19. Refusing Help From Others
You’re not Superman; you can’t do it all. Even if you can, why should you? If others are offering to help, let them help. Be social. Listen to their ideas and watch how they do things. You may learn something. If not, then you can teach them something and do what humans are meant to do: socialize.

20. Throwing In The Towel
The biggest weakness in all of humanity is giving up — calling it quits, throwing in the towel. The mentally strong go about things in such a way. Only do things if they are important to you; forget the things that aren't important to you. If they’re important to you, then pursue them until you succeed. No exceptions, ever.

Focus on Your Dreams

Recently, busy has not been the word! Thinking back to my first post of the year regarding setting goals, I distinctly remembering how I set mine. One of which being to write more often! How the days seemed to whiz by, fading into a blur of life, work, family and other plans. Only until one finally seems to jump off and escape this merry-go-round of time, do we then realise time has passed us by too fast. Again, pondering the same post I mentioned a moment ago, I was also speaking about living in the now. Good thing at times like these, life can pass you by too quickly! Taking note, this being a perfect example…

I am pleased to say that I am back and ready to start focusing on my goals. Namely one very big one I set for myself and that is to concentrate more on my writing. And so, after much deliberation on recent events in my own life (some great ones like my mom’s wedding, and others not so great such as getting my heart broken by nearest and dearest people to me); I look ahead with anticipation to the task ahead of me. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I always choose positivity, and how I can use this to my advantage. One way I have managed this in the past, is to write – whether it is submerging myself in my novels, or expressing my feelings (whatever they may be at the time) in poetry. So look out for more on these later. I have updated my blog a bit to accommodate news and info on this, so I feel I am set and ready to go! :)

In other words, there is no time like the present! Now is the time to do what you dreamed of, been putting off or keep forgetting due to life getting in the way. It is time to make time for my passions in life, and you should do the same. One never knows when it is too late and today was your last. I encourage you all to keep persevering. We have all been blessed with certain gifts, and is up to us to develop and use these talents to make something of them, and so in turn, help others along the way. This year is to be the year that I start getting somewhere with my dreams to publish my work. What will you be doing and focusing on, to get ahead?

Guidelines for Relationships

After recently going through a bad break up a few months ago, I have learnt a few more things about relationships which are so important to focus on. The fact is, we never truly stop learning until the day we die, but it is in embracing life and grabbing hold of every opportunity to learn from it, that we really begin to grow and move on in life. As the old saying goes, we cannot move on if we keep re-reading the last chapter of our lives.

I always believe in taking the positive from every situation, even if the circumstances one goes through may be dreadful; it is better to take what you can learn from what you went through than to focus on the negative. The other day I was busy reading an article on the net and came across this brilliantly written and inspiring piece by another blogger. I thought to myself, wow indeed, these rules are very true to remember when in a relationship – no matter if you are a guy or a girl – and some very good advice. A lot of which I live by, but some I needed to be reminded of!

The focus here also is that my mom is to be married tomorrow, and I have been remembering what she always taught us about love. As in the words of the verse found in 1 Corinthians 13, it teaches us what love is all about, and that love never fails! I am so grateful that she taught us this, as there is so much brokenness in this world and people who miss the point when it comes to loving someone. For if you truly love them, you will be prepared to make it work and never give up until the very end. Nothing should stand in your way, because love can overcome any obstacle. So let’s give it all, working at our relationships diligently.

And so, I wish you all the best, always in all your relationships. May they flourish and grow. May you find happiness with the one you love and want to make a life with. Time waits for no-one, so grab that opportunity now to let the one you love know how you feel about them, before it is too late. One never knows what tomorrow may bring, and lose out on what may have been the best time of your life.

Here it is, just something I thought I would share with you all…

Twelve Boyfriend Rules
1. Always pick him up from the airport. Don’t drive by and pick him up. Be there when he comes down the stairs. Anyone who’s seen Love Actually knows how important this is.
2. Sometimes leaving him alone for a bit is the best love you can give.
3. Even if he says he doesn’t like flowers. Give them anyway.
4. No matter how annoying…ALWAYS say good things about his family. Even if he doesn’t. At least for the first year.
5. Cooking him dinner is the best gift you can give. Anything that shows you worked your butt off just for him.
6. Sometimes you don’t need to give any advice. Don’t ever say “well you should have…”. Just listen, support him and say “it’ll be ok”.
7. If he says he doesn’t want help. He doesn’t. He probably wants to impress you. Let him.
8. When in an argument don’t bring other people’s opinions into it. “My Mom thinks…”, “Dana at work thinks…”. They only “think”. They don’t “know”. This is YOUR relationship. Only you two know the whole story. Others don’t.
9. Ask what you can do in bed that would make him crazy. Even if he says there’s nothing…he has something.
10. If he has a favorite movie. Even if you don’t like it. Watch it with him a couple of times, and keep your negative opinions to yourself.
11. Celebrate his birthday. No matter what he says.
12. On second thought cooking BREAKFAST is the best thing you can do for him.

New Day, New Year, a New Perspective on Things

Well, the new year of 2014 has finally dawned upon us and the memories of Christmas and the Festive Season all gone by. What was only a few weeks ago, seems like a distant memory now. Some of you, like me, have recently returned from holiday and are back at work/school/studies and the like. And in true New Year traditions, we find ourselves looking behind us on the road from whence we came; but also ahead to what is before us.

Resolutions – always something most of us consider at this point in time. Have you thought about what you would like to achieve this year? I believe this is a very good tradition in that it allows us to re-evaluate our dreams, goals, and things we have and would still like to achieve going forward in our lives. However, let us not dwell too much on the past; we need to look at right now.

As my mom always taught us growing up, there are three times you go through in life: yesterday, today and tomorrow…

• Yesterday is gone. It is over, and there is no going back. Time moves forward endlessly with a force unstoppable. So there is no point in reflecting too much on what was. Nothing anyone could possibly do will ever change that, and no amount of worrying and stressing on the past can change what was.
• Tomorrow is uncertain. Who is really assured of a tomorrow? No-one knows for sure they will even live past today, so why worry and fret over future events which have not happened?
• The only day one needs to truly focus on is today. It is the very moment we are in right now. All we have is the present, and it is in this very moment that one can make a change, live to the fullest and be the best you can be. Plan for what’s ahead, of course, but do not forget that one must leave the worry out of it!

Now is the time to grab hold of what you love, and what you want in your life. The perfect time may never come, and you could miss out on something amazing. So don't let it pass you by. Take the opportunity to tell the person you love how you feel, use the time you have to do what you have a passion for, plan that trip or read that book. Anything really you want to do, do it now! 

So, with this in mind, where have we come from this past year? Are there perhaps goals and dreams you perhaps did not accomplish last year? Do you feel like you failed? Don’t meditate on it. Remember you are blessed with another day, and it is a new year. It’s a new year to plan ahead and set new goals, or try again on old ones. You have been blessed with another chance to make a change. As I say this, I am pondering on my own life too, so take heart, you are not alone...

Look Ahead - Not Backward!

I was sitting here at home just a moment ago, thinking back. Back on the year (and years before) gone by. Wow, so much has happened in just this year, let alone all the others before that. Incredible isn't it, when reminiscing as such, you realise how far you have come?

As we approach Christmas, and then New Year’s Eve after that, a lot of us will find ourselves looking upon our past year and what has led us up to what is right now. I admit; a lot of your and my choices I have made have ended up in disaster. But then I consider to myself, what of all the good choices we have made? As I mentioned the other day, everything happens for a reason! What is done is done. It is behind us, and so now we find ourselves upon the precipice of decision to move on: we are all the wiser, have added knowledge, are even stronger, and more mature. Hopefully, we have learnt from what we endured. If we haven’t, it is best to start now. What better time to do so anyway before the next year dawns upon us?

We needed to go through the trials, the hardships, and even the good times. The retrenchments, breakups, accidents were necessary for our growth. The new jobs and promotions, new romance or friendships, and other things we are blessed with – all very essential for our life’s journey. The bad experiences along with the good are there to teach us. Don’t fall short and lose the lesson which you can learn from what you have been through. Grasp it, analyse how you can use it to your advantage, and learn the lesson (however small) – and grow.

Again contemplating on what was, I turn my thoughts yet again to what is to come. Life is to be travelled forwards, not backwards. Remember that. So look ahead, look to what is now. Look at your future and how you can apply what you have learnt in life. Pick yourself up out of the pit of sorrow, pain, hurt, disappointment, depression – and move on to the next chapter in your life. Things always get better, and awesome days are ahead of you! That is a fact.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Whether you believe it or not, everything does indeed happen for a reason. In the orchestra of life, so much is taking place around us at all times - some of which we are aware of, whilst other things we are totally oblivious to. Through the past few months, I have been reminded of this time and again…

There are many illustrations I could use. One example is perhaps a vehicle driving slow on the road in front of you on your way to work, causing you to be late. We may not realise this, but someone ahead on your path could have jumped the traffic light carelessly; and in another reality, would've collided with you should you have not encountered the slow-moving vehicle. Situations such as these have occurred to me personally, a few times over. In the greater plan for our lives, and what is meant to be, it may not be our time to depart this plane of existence just yet. Rather than getting upset over the incident, let us stop to consider the bigger picture and so, preserve ourselves from frustration and irritation. Just because we do not know it at the time, or why, does not mean there is not a reason for this. There may be a very good reason why certain things happen the way they do!

What about that partner who selfishlessly betrays or cheats on you? Yes indeed, it is mountain of hurt, anger, defeat and emotional pain tumbles down and crushes us. Anyone dreads this. It is the one of the worst stresses we have to endure in our existence here on Earth. This has been something that happened to me not so long ago in my own life. I must say, I did suffer for a time - but I have chosen to look at the lessons to be learnt, how I can potentially grow and strengthen myself, and to consider that (at the very least) that this was not meant to be.

People will also come into your life for various reasons, most of the time unbeknownst to us at that moment, for a reason (to teach us something), a season (to be with us for whatever reason at a particular time in our lives), or a lifetime (these are the true friends, special family members and people who, no matter what, will always be at your side). And so, I have picked myself up out of the dirt and carried on with life, knowing there are bigger and better purposes which God intends for us. The right people come and go into your life, at all the right times. And most times, the wrong people leaving are to make place for exactly the right ones. This is something to look forward to!

I urge all of you to take heart if you are going through trials, it will not last forever and only a period. But most of all, remember that you will come out better than before, if you just choose to take the negative and turn it into a positive. You are worth much more than you know; do not let the stresses of life weigh down on you and crush your hopes and dreams. It will all work out in the end. And God has promised us this, all for our good.

Life: Don't Let it Just Pass You By

I'm sure we have all heard the phrase: "Life is short". Ever stop for a minute to actually consider this? I am not talking about a mere agreement, but a deep understanding of what this implies. Yes, a lot of people use this phrase, especially when a loved one passes away. With all the well-known people that passed away in the recent weeks, this got me thinking again about life - and how brief our existence can be on this earth.

Many are still reeling from the passing of former President Nelson Mandela, boxing champion Jacob "Baby Jake" Matlala, as well as American celebrity Paul Walker. We salute them indeed, and may they rest in peace. We must remember of course, is that there are many out there dying every day, all around us. Sadly, we all go about our lives nonchalantly without realising with all the hustle and bustle of life, that there is more to life.

I too, sometimes find myself a victim of this dreaded mind-set. But often I am reminded of my close shave with death many years ago. After being involved in a horrendous motor accident, and having a near-death experience that altered my life forever, my whole viewpoint on life has changed.  I realised that I had lost focus on how to live, and that we are actually so vulnerable to the elements around us. One minute you are here, the next you are swept away into the next life. Time is precious yes, but so are your partners, family, and friends. Never forget this fact.

Savour each moment as if it is your last! I know this may sound a tad cliché, but really nothing could be further from the truth. Just as I had not an inkling of what was to happen to me that fateful night, so we are not assured of tomorrow, or even the next minute. Treasure what you have, instead of hoping for more. Remember to keep in contact with your loved ones, pay attention to them and their lives, work at your relationships, show appreciation, and leave each other with kind words.  It may be the last time you ever see them again.

Love, peace, joy and blessings to you all. 

Daydreaming of Hedgehogs

Hedgehogs are one of nature’s most captivating creatures and one of my favourite little wonders of this world. Beneath a prickly exterior lies a heart of courage. With the ability to protect itself with a formidable armour of spines, this cute creature can be bold and resilient if necessary! 

Recently, hedgehogs have captured my attention. I have been seeing them everywhere, and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was a deeper meaning. After spending time in meditation and prayer yesterday, reflecting on stressful and traumatic past events, I realized the symbolism and the meaning of this message I was getting through this brave being.

Suddenly, it dawned on me! These fascinating little animals possess a covering of protection, designed so that their spines are part of who they are (unlike the porcupine, with its easily detachable quills). The message was clear: We need to stay strong and stand firm during trials, to resist defeat. A reminder to harness confidence and motivation in the face of life’s challenges.

These creatures often curl into a ball, standing their ground with unwavering fortitude when confronted by an adversary. This is a powerful lesson for us all. We need to become like the hedgehog, strong and courageous. Our ability to withstand difficulty lies in our determination to stand firm and face our battles head-on. Even though we may feel small and helpless, by persevering and refusing to yield, we will endure almost anything that comes our way. With this spirit, we can conquer any obstacle! 

Often, I find myself lost in thought, pondering life's incredible mysteries and the valuable lessons hidden within. I'm curious about how we can evolve through our experiences, forging strength and building resilience rather than breaking under pressure. I contemplate the profound lessons embedded within our journeys and how we can harness these experiences to learn and grow. This intrinsic nature has become a powerful tool for evolution and insight. 

It's from these daydreams that the inspiration for this blog was born. I hope my experiences and lessons can inspire you to tap into your own inner strength. We’ll explore together how to turn challenges into triumphs and discover the hidden potential within us all.

Let us embrace the hedgehog spirit: a steadfast determination, a capacity for solitude, and an unwavering belief in our ability to overcome.