7 Best Tips to Improve Your Time Management Skills

Time management is a challenge that a lot of people struggle with. In our modern-day society, we are bombarded with an assortment of distractions that take up our time. In all my working experience operating in corporate office environments, but especially now as a virtual assistant and freelancer, I've learned that time management is crucial. Being self-employed means that there is a lot more emphasis on managing our time correctly to provide efficient and reliable service to clients. Time is precious, and it is the one commodity that we cannot gain more of. Once it is used up, it is gone forever, so we should spend it wisely.

Perhaps you are someone who is also juggling your day, feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities you are required to perform. Maybe you battle with procrastination, forever putting off stressful tasks and running out of time to complete them all. I would like you to know that you are not alone. Many of the people I know and have met in my career have felt the same. I, too, have faced these same setbacks previously in my life. Fortunately, I have found better work techniques to improve and even solve these dilemmas. Here, I would like to share this advice with you in the hope that these steps will assist you in doing the same.

1. Planning

One of the best methods, planning, forms a very important part of time management. There are various ways in which we can do this. You could make use of a diary, either a paper one or even go digital. I have often used my email application calendar to ensure I have scheduled enough time in my day for each task as well as to ensure all my appointments are never missed. Set a timer or automated reminders if you need to, as this will ensure you always stay on track. Make sure to also create a to-do list to keep track of all the tasks you need to accomplish. I cannot begin to tell you how this alone has saved me many times in my career. You may be like me and have a great memory, but we are only human, and life can be overwhelming. There is always the possibility of forgetting one or more important things which we tell ourselves we will remember, but this isn't always the case.

2. Prioritise

The next important step to planning is to prioritize all your work and responsibilities. Start by sorting out everything on your to-do list or your schedule in order of importance. By focusing on the most urgent of these first, you will be able to manage your time better by completing the bigger and more important ones. Smaller tasks require less time and will be more manageable once you are ready to take them on and not to mention less stressful. One of the handy and effective ways is to sort out your schedule into what is required daily, weekly, and monthly. Each day, focus on your daily duties; thereafter, you can begin on the weekly one and plan time for accomplishing your monthly tasks as time allows.

3. Multitasking

Coming from a corporate background, I have seen and experienced that there are numerous companies today that expect staff to multitask. Some even list this as a required skill for job vacancies they advertise. Trying to do too much all at once only slows us down, as the human brain can only focus on one thing at a time. It also takes time away from tasks you can be attentive to. Where you could be concentrating all your energy and quality of work on a task and giving it your best, your attention will be divided. In turn, this will slow you down, as you will continually stop and start something as you continuously change focus to and from other things. For your mental health, ensure you avoid this as it is damaging to your productivity. Stay focused on one thing at a time, complete your current task, and then move on to the next.

4. Resources, apps, and programs

In an age of technology, we have a large selection of tools to assist us with improving our quality of work, as well as providing many automation tools to make our lives easier. There are a large number of resources online, apps, and programs we can use to choose from – including time management apps, to-do list software, project management software, communication apps, social media automation tools, and so on. These will increase your productivity and help you be more efficient.

5. Rest breaks

While it may be necessary to stay focused on our work at hand, it is also particularly so to take short breaks regularly. Once you complete a task, repay yourself with a tea break. You could take a walk outside, stretch your legs and get some fresh air. This works wonders to rejuvenate you for the next job you need to do. Also, sitting down for too long can be harmful to our health. This includes eye strain from staring too long at a computer screen, which could induce a headache. If you take a few minutes out for yourself to recharge in between your busy schedule, the quality of your work will be good, plus you will be more energized and motivated to take on the rest of your daily schedule.

6. Schedule email and phone response time

Email and phone distractions can be time-consuming. Periodically throughout the day, we have a collection of emails, text messages, and calls coming through to us. Continuously bringing to a halt what we are working on to attend to these and return to our task is just as detrimental as multitasking. Scheduling time slots in your day for responding to emails and phone texts puts more emphasis on the tasks you are working on and lessens any interruptions. Unless it is an emergency or urgent work-related matter, take care to limit switching your focus.

7. Limit distractions and interruptions

If you would like to improve your time management, it is both important and necessary to work in a quiet environment, free from distractions and interruptions. As a virtual assistant, you are often communicating with various clients over the phone or online and may be working on several projects that require a lot of attention. A dedicated space or separate office will be essential to cultivating this type of working environment. Another successful method is to use noise-cancelling headphones, if necessary. I found this technique especially useful if there may still be distracting background noise outside, for example, as it takes away any diverted focus from this disruption and places it all into your work.

There are various strategies and methods available online, and most of them embody the guidance outlined here. However, I am certain once you have implemented all of the above advice, you will see a noticeable improvement in your time management skills. It is never too late to make better use of the time available to us, so start applying these steps today.

Life Lessons on Time

It has been nearly two years of not writing here on my blog, and I must say how I have missed it! So much has happened since the last post, good and bad, yet unfortunately I seem to have let the bad stuff and the busyness of life get the better of me by allowing my inspiration to cease in all the craziness. That is changing now, as I have been on a journey through this period of rediscovering myself, growing and learning a lot, as well as getting back to goal and intention setting for the way ahead of me. There is so much to write about and share, I have my work cut out for me now! Yet no complaints, all smiles and happy thoughts as I write this because I know through all the stuff that has happened, even though I have been through some tough situations, I have no regrets because it is all working for my good and taught me some valuable lessons I needed so desperately to learn. Now that I am back to writing again, I look forward to continuing sharing all the lessons and inspirations of life I am learning along the way!

Where do I begin? There have been some major events that have taken place, and significant lessons learned as a result. I think these things are of vital importance for not just me, but for us all to take note of. One of the main things that has stood out for me the last year and a half, is of the frailty and uncertainty of life. Last year two of my close friends and a family member passed away, followed this year by two more friends in the last few months. It has been a real eye-opener that time is promised to none of us. This I know, but is as always a good reminder! It has been tough to deal with so much people leaving this world; because like me, there have been some friends of mine also who have lost people in their lives also through this same period of time.

The lesson in all of this for me has been to make sure I focus my attention on the people who really matter and are present in my life, the things I care about and love, and to start seriously working towards my goals and dreams – because these are what has real significance. Too often we get swept away by life’s issues, work, tiredness and being busy with everything that comes along day by day. And then, before we realise it, days / months / years have passed and we have not achieved what we have set out for, or spent time with our families or friends we have wanted so desperately to do for so long.

When one starts having so many people pass away in a short space of time, one cannot help but sit up and take notice of life in all its beauty and value. Not just have I realised life's improbability, I also became conscious of my own mortality and the reminder of my near-death experience I had many years ago. This has resulted in me finally gaining the last bit of motivation I so desperately needed at last to continue working at achieving my dreams and goals. These events have been a wake-up call to me, after getting distracted by life and procrastinating way too much – a personal goal and improvement I thought I had completely overcome after working so hard on myself with this. Thankfully, things are now back on track and I have begun to focus my attention to where it needs to go. Positive and exciting changes, improvements and processes are ahead as I have begun my journey to accomplishing what I need to.

I was reading an inspirational piece the other day, which had the same theme which made me sit up and take notice. It’s amazing how by some Divine Plan all these messages and signs come to us, if we are open and attentive enough to see and hear them! The author was saying that anyone who ever accomplished anything great in life (for example: Albert Einstein, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, to name but a few) had the exact same number of hours in their day as we do. That today we have more ways to solve more problems and get more done in a single day than have ever existed before. He went on to say that our “lack of time” is not a time problem, but a priorities issue. How profound! We need to refocus our awareness on who and what matters in our lives, and stop chasing those which do not serve our purpose. Be grateful for each day, for life, for your blessings. Our time here is limited. We are only assured of today – no, we are only assured of right now. It is all we have. So, let us make the most of it, before we end up living in regret. There is a lesson in this for us all.

Making Time for People and Priorities

The other day I was speaking with and encouraging a friend who has been going through a difficult patch of her life, when I came to realise that what we were talking about was this exact lesson I have learned in totality in this last year of my life. We were discussing the concept of time, the making use of the time you are given right now, and the fact that so much of it is wasted on the wrong things, activities and people. We need to have a balance, we agreed. As I have said in the past on many an occasion, time is not guaranteed to us and the ever-ticking clock of time stops for no-one.

For a while now, I have been focusing on what is truly important in my life. There are a few things that brought this on. For one; the constant reminders when speaking of my goals and dreams to friends, family, colleagues, etc. and realising I have not achieved a lot of them … yet! This along with the realisation as I approach my next birthday, and thinking how crazy it is that it is just around the corner again. It has been a busy year. However, this is not much of an excuse. I read something the other day by American Author H. Jackson Brown Jnr, where he speaks about this very thing in his book entitled, “Life's Little Instruction Book.” These are my favourite quotes, which have such relevance to this concept of time and life:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
“Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”
“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.”

This got me to seriously start thinking on many things – things I think we all ponder on at times:
• What am I spending my time excessively and unnecessarily on?
• Am I being wise with the amount of time I have and doing the things I love doing (and better be doing, working towards my goals and dreams)?
• What can I do to simplify my life and focus on that really matters?
• Am I wasting time by doing too much of something that does not have much value or procrastinating when I could be doing other, more meaningful stuff?
• Is there anything that I still let bother my mind and overthink that causes me stress, and wastes my time letting problems / worries / people / work cloud my mind when I could be focusing on positive things that keep and make me happy and motivated?
• Are there any people I am ‘running after’ who aren’t bothering to make an effort – in other words, always texting / calling / trying to make plans when I could be focusing my attention on those that really want to be there (instead of saying they want to or will be, but then don’t)?

There is always room for improvement here. I don’t think we can fully master it, but we can get pretty close. We are only human after all. In my own life, I have made tremendous progress with this way of positive thinking over the years. Sometimes though, I find myself slipping off the edge of this high road I have climbed up for so long, only to find a good friend that’s been walking next to me reach out their hand of encouragement and hope – and I am back, stronger than ever. This visit with my friend was one of those times. We sat there talking about the wrong things and people taking too much of our valuable time. And so, like the proverbial light bulb going on above my head, I remembered that I originally had learned this lesson many years ago and this was just another one of those moments reminding me of this!

From what I learned this far through my own experiences and the lives of those around me, is that it really is not worth wasting your precious time on anything which is not contributing to your life. If you do not start prioritising now, before you know it, so much time has passed (and wasted) where we could be doing the things we love and work towards our future. Similarly the same is true if there is anyone who doesn’t go to the effort to spend time on you as you are trying to invest in them. Perhaps you find you are chasing after them by contacting them all the time and there is no reciprocation, no reply or no effort at all. This is when it is time to say goodbye and focus on the ones that really want to be part of your life and keep in contact. This is why, on almost all occasions, I withdraw myself and go silent for those type of people. People say a lot, which is why I watch what they do, and it will show if a person’s intentions are true because the two will match up. Why should any one of us always make all the effort, when it takes a mere several seconds to send a simple text if you cannot call or spend time with them. There is something that is called self-respect and loving oneself enough not to allow yourself fall into this trap. It is too easy, especially for us that care too much about those around us. We need to keep reminding ourselves of our worth and knowing that every type of relationship requires effort from both sides – no matter who you are. Don’t give up your time for the wrong people!

Tomorrow is not certain and it we should be using our time wisely and usefully. In the end, there is only so much of it! I have become very aware of my mortality over the years, especially after being in a few motor accidents, as well as having had a few friends and family pass away too soon. Once the time has passed, our window of opportunity closes where we had an opportunity to do something, go places, experience an adventure, spend time with someone important (especially family), or even to be with someone you want to share your life with. Once this moment or period has passed, it has passed! There is nothing you can do to go back. Make the most of whatever opportunity presents itself to you. Cut out anything or anyone that is wasting your time, effort, and affections. Don’t waste any more time. The time is right now, it is all we ever have. Dare to live, dare to experience life, and dare to make this your best life possible.

7 Steps to Attaining True Happiness

So the last few months have been a busy time. Busy with life, and busy learning so much through all of the ups and downs I have encountered on the way. This year started out alike to how last year ended, full of troubles, sadness and obstacles on my path. But I resisted. Learning from previous experiences I have been through, I chose not to give in and let these issues get the better of me. Every time keeping focus on all the positives in my life, the truly important people still remaining in my life after some had left, and focused all my attention on the things that needed my attention. The months that ensued these negative events in my life were a little turbulent at first but as I kept my focus and positivity; I overcame it all, learnt a great deal, and found myself happy regardless. It has been difficult, I won’t lie. Today I can say I am truly happy with my life and all that I am blessed with: a permanent job finally after working hard towards this for so long, a beautiful home overlooking my town including a sea view, my own reliable transport, amazing friends and family, my good health, food at all times, clothing and warmth, running water and all the other comforts of home (to name but only a few).

How did I get to this point in my life, and how is it that I could stay so positive in the face of such adversity and carry on through it all? Friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances I have met along the way have asked me this. Perhaps it is time to share my successes I have achieved regarding this in more detail, in the hope that you too can apply these practices and lessons too and achieve success in this. Believe me, the road of life is never all a dark, cold, menacing and frightful road. It is made up of many ups, downs, flat roads, straight or windy paths, dark valleys and high mountaintops too. We just have to make the most of every step of the way of this magnificent life that we are blessed with, for everything happens for a reason and each stage is to teach you something, helping build and grow your character.

We should be living right now, in the present, today. The rest is untouchable, and no amount of stressing, worrying or over-thinking the past, future, and even today with all its trials and tribulations – will ever fix any of that. It robs today of its joy, steals your happiness and peace. This should not be so, for this moment shall never again come to pass. But how do we get to this place of harmony and sound thinking, I hear you ask. Well, there are numerous ways to achieve this, and all by the power of reconditioning our minds and our way of thinking. Everything starts with our attitudes. These affect our thoughts and way of thinking, which in turn determine our actions, which then affects our lives and ultimately, our future. Let’s look at the some various things we can start doing to get to this place of peace and having more of a sound, strong mind…

1. Focus on your blessings – not the negative, depressing troubles weighing you down
There are plenty of troubles and pains in this world and throughout your life, but what a lot of people do not realise is that there are far more blessings and positives to count than the negatives. Even when it may seem there is more bad points in your life to count than good, if you look closely, you will find so many blessings to be thankful for. By having an attitude of gratitude, we shift our focus from what is going wrong in our lives over to all the things going right. By doing this, you stop worrying so much over the bad and letting it have so much control in your life. Your thoughts, energy and time that was once spent over stressing and being depressed over the bad, becomes free. This freedom allows you to get focused on the people and things that matter and are still in your life. It ultimately helps you in not missing all that is right and good in your life, which is happening right now. These are things that deserve your time and energy. Forget about the rest.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others and learn to love yourself
You are unique, one of a kind. Beautifully created in every way, inside and out. Comparing yourself to someone else proves useless, one cannot compare two things of equal worth even though different but has equal usefulness and value. No-one is the same as another and this includes our distinctive array of talents and gifts. If you feel you are not gifted with anything useful then you still have a lot of work on yourself to do, including discovering more on learning who you are and what you are capable of. No person can ever be you or fill your place, nor can you do this for anyone else. You have been created to be you, so be just that and shine your own light for everyone else to see. It really does not matter what other people think of you, their opinions are not necessarily the truth and a totally biased viewpoint from how they see you or think about you. The only thing that matters is how you see yourself. There are many negative thoughts and questions we keep asking ourselves when comparing ourselves and lives, often caused by the importance we place on what others’ think of us. Things such as: why am I still alone and single, am I not good enough for my friends / family / partner, I am not as talented or gifted as he/she is, why can’t I be more beautiful or desirable, if only I could be as well-off as he/she, etc. There are an endless array of these, these are but a few. We should be shifting our emphasis off other people and comparing, back onto ourselves and focus on working on us. After all, we are the only ones accountable for our own soul, mind and heart – nobody else. When it comes to relationships of any kind, it is far worse to be trapped in one that is so wrong for you than to be without that person at all. Remember this! Your well-being of your heart, mind and soul is far more important. When you accept yourself, and this means totally – including your flaws and weaknesses – you will find yourself one step closer to self-acceptance, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes because you are only human and mess up from time to time like we all do. Finally you will be able to love yourself for the beautiful, amazing being you are created to be.

3. Find ways to put the past in the past, and keep them there
The past can often come back to haunt us, and this comprises of times where we have thought we have dealt with something and left it in the past but something happens to remind us of these hurtful or upsetting times. The truth of the matter is this: if we still get upset, are uncomfortable speaking of and cry over things that happened in the past, we have not yet gotten over them and still allow those occasions to affect us. In the events that involve people, it also means we have not forgiven them and harbour a grudge or resentment towards them. Once you reach a point where you can talk about something and not be upset over it, you have left it in the past once and for all. It then finally loses its power over your emotions, mind and life. Remember, forgiveness is essential in moving on and this means leaving it behind you completely. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person but has everything to do about you – you do this mostly for yourself and your own peace of mind. Whether you forgive someone or not, it doesn’t affect them in any way. You can hold a grudge as long as you live yet the other person can live a fulfilled happy life while you continue to suffer with constant thoughts on circumstances and individuals which you allow to continually hurt yourself. In the end, you basically end up hurting yourself by harbouring unforgiveness in your heart. We are all human and are flawed, just remember to learn to forgive yourself too and make peace with everything and everyone wherever you can.

4. Learn from what happened and apply it to your life now, for future experiences
No one likes to go through bad patches in our lives but I have learned we always have a choice: we can either let it affect us by having power and control over us, or we can decide to turn things around and use it for our own benefit. We can do this by using everything (yes everything – there is always a lesson to be learnt) to learn from, grow, strengthen, gain wisdom and insight that we can grasp from each situation. Every time you choose to learn from and get over a calamity in your life, you win! The way life works too, is that we sometimes go through the same lesson over and over again, until we learn what we need to from it. I never saw this in the past when I heard it from a friend, but it has proven so true in my life. Especially over the last two years when I could finally see it happening after I started examining my life and each hurdle I came to after that, and started making some changes in my attitudes towards these trials and adjusted my way of thinking. If you are battling to put something behind you, make sure you find a way how to and remember to look for the lesson to be learnt so that the next time you can avoid going through a similar experience, standing strong in the face of it.

5. Don’t worry over things you have no control over
I have spoken of this in a previous blog, on how my mum taught me this very valuable lesson. If there is nothing you can do about something your mind is occupied about, or if it is something that happened in the past, or even something that is yet to come – do not worry about it, there is no point! What amount of worrying, stressing, being anxious, or over-thinking (especially this, which can create a whole lot of new paranoid thoughts and feelings); can ever change that situation you are fretting over? Answer is absolutely nothing, it does not change a thing! So let it go, put it behind you and concentrate on what you can do now. If there isn’t anything you can do now, then there is no reason to worry and you are letting your mind and heart be robbed of its happiness and peace. You are also being robbed of your time doing so, which you will never get back again. Do not let this happen. Every moment in your day you have a chance to be happy about something, make each moment count. I feel that maybe we place too much importance and focus on the obstacles on the way, forgetting that these make us stronger to endure the rest of the journey and so help us become stronger to face any bigger obstacles that may come up in future. Too much focus is also placed on the past and all that happened before this, or what is yet to come including the worry and anxiety of what shall we do when this or that happens. Not past nor future occurrence is touchable, tangible and accessible. Do not burden your mind with these times.

6. Don’t worry about the opinions, actions and words of others
There is an old saying, “What others think of you is none of your business”. I heard this long ago but have only just recently in the last few years finally seized this knowledge and applied it to my life. We are all equal, none of us having dominion or any sort of authority over another as a human being. That includes making us feel any less of ourselves than what we are, we are all special and unique in our own right and no one should be allowed to make us feel any less than beautiful, amazing and good about ourselves. Nor should any have the power to decide what another person should be doing in their lives and how they choose to do it. If we want to do something because we love doing it, then no one else should tell us we cannot do it, or judge us for doing it (especially if they themselves are doing the same). By allowing yourself to listen to others opinions and nasty or judgemental remarks, you give that person power over you – to create misery, depression, oppression, hurt and frustration caused in your being and life. Don’t let this occur, take back control over your own life. Even if these people are those you care about, it does not matter! What matters is those that remain by your side and are on the same mission as you. The ones inspiring you, looking out for you and caring for you. Focus on these people and leave the rest behind. As hard as it is, we need to take care of ourselves too.

7. Focus on yourself, and what makes YOU happy
The best way to make yourself happy is to do what you love and by concentrating on your joys in life. This is turn creates happiness and satisfaction while you do these things – so in turn bringing about a cheerful environment, light aura and enjoyable mood about you. The more you do these activities, the happier you will find yourself, but we have to do this on a regular basis. I have learnt this in the recent months through the stresses and busy times of everyday life, that I too have been neglecting myself and my passions. I discovered that also by not allowing ourselves time like this for us, we neglect your own soul, mind and heart – we can easily fall into the trap of letting outside influences affect our life and joy. It is also found that setting some of your time on your loves in life, is a way of occupying the mind; getting it focused off the stresses, pains and frustrations of everyday life; and at the same time bringing your soul the rest, recreation and relaxation it needs. When it comes to self-love and self-acceptance, you have to realise that you deserve happiness, joy, peace and love. You deserve to do what you love doing, because that’s what YOU are all about. It is not about someone else. So look at focusing on those and do them today. It is so worth it, and so are you!

          ::          

Every moment you live is an opportunity for you to be happy. You know how sometimes it seems that life is just throwing you one curved ball after another? Well, guess what, you have a great way to respond! You can use every opportunity, every single one, to be happy. Enjoy your life. Don't just take a shower – feel and receive pleasure from the water on your skin, feel it washing away all the negativity and worries on your mind. Don't just take a walk – enjoy the sights and sounds all around you, the fragrances of the trees and the flowers. Don’t just eat and drink – take time to taste and enjoy eat bite or sip to the fullest. Don't just drive your car – sing to your favourite songs. Do everything with this approach and you will find yourself enjoying each moment of the day. Do not waste a single moment to find reasons to be happy, there are so many of them!

Using, Growing and Sharing your Gifts

Each of us are different and special in our own way. Even if you think you do not have anything to offer – you in fact do. We all have our own distinct talents and gifts unique to each person. It is up to us to develop, use and share them amongst those in our lives. If you are unsure what you are gifted in, decide today to make a conscious effort to find out. Similarly, we should also be using what has been given to us, before it is too late to get the chance to. There is a saying that one of my best friends has: “Use what Mother Nature has given you before Father Time takes it away.” A wise saying indeed. But what does this teach us? If anything, there are two things that stand out for me.

1.       Time waits for no-one

We are never guaranteed on the time we have left in this life. Should we not utilise our gifts and talents, one day it may be too late when our life in this world comes to a close. Then it would have all been for nothing and your abilities wasted. You never know, the helping hand lent to a friend or stranger could mean anything to them: be it someone finding the courage to face another day, or being put on the path to their destiny by providing whatever they need, or inspiring our fellow man by encouraging those to do the same and make a difference in other people’s lives (especially when this has to do with helping those in need). There is so much we can do. Also, once a moment has passed in which you can help someone, you may never have another again.

2.       Nurturing or neglecting?

Secondly, and I had this discussion with a friend not so long ago; we need to keep on nurturing, strengthening, developing (not just maintaining) and improving all we know and are talented with. Just as the dancer needs to keep practising to make sure they are on top of their game, or the teacher educating themselves what they need to in order to teach their students effectively – so we need to do the same with whatever we have. Don’t be surprised if your passions in life don’t improve, or go nowhere. We need to keep feeding and growing in these areas, just the same as we need food to grow and live. Our whole being needs nourishment of all sorts to keep on going, and keep on growing, Make sure you are not neglecting yourself in any area.

Yes I know what some of you are thinking, specifically those who know me, I should have in fact been following my own advice! I have been reminded of this fact several times in the past few months that my passion for writing, needs attention at least on a more regular basis. Now that all the stresses and issues have been sorted out in my life; the job search and interviews done and dusted (a tedious as well as time-consuming task I must add), financial dramas over, relationship crises concluded a while ago, been there for friends through whatever has come our way. All major distractions and stress have passed for now, thankfully. I am now more focused than ever before, I am wiser and stronger. It is time to remain focusing on my gifts no matter what, as do I hope that you will focus on yours as well.

Letting anything come in the way of our dreams and goals, only damages our own lives, but sometimes this can’t be helped. We just need to keep on making sure we pick ourselves up, dust off and keep moving forward. Standing still not going anywhere, stagnating or even procrastinating (gosh even I too am guilty of this), is not where we should be. Find ways to progress, even in the smallest way, and you will do well.

What The Person You Deserve Is Like

You deserve love and security, a combination that warms the core of your heart. You deserve knowledge that the person you are with wants to be there and, more importantly, won’t run away when times get tough. This is someone that will stay by your side, fight your fights right there with you because they know you would do the same for them.

You deserve someone who laughs at your jokes and smiles at the mere sight of you smiling. This smile will be genuine, not fake, and you will feel butterflies when you see it and your smile will grow until your cheeks can no longer take it.

You deserve someone who brings you coffee in the morning because they know the addiction is real. You deserve breakfast in bed, flowers “just because,” and hugs that feel like you are at home.

You deserve hands that only reach for you. They may be dry, cracked, calloused, perfectly manicured, or a complete mess, but they know you, your hands, and your body. They don’t reach away to know more.

You deserve someone who doesn't make you cry, at least on purpose, because you are human and you feel deeply and love passionately, and when one teardrop falls there may be a thousand more, but you are not alone. Even though they hurt you, they hold you until the shaking stops, wiping away your tears and kissing your damp cheeks although you whisper for them to stop. They will say sorry and you will feign being mad until you both give in to happiness again because you know anger is a state the two of you cannot remain in.

You deserve someone who takes responsibility for their mistakes and who apologizes for the times they unintentionally hurt you because you would do the same for them. You deserve someone who can forgive as you do, even if neither of you can completely forget.

You deserve someone whose touch feels like fireworks across your skin, whose eyes always look for yours when they enter a room, and whose heart never yearns for the attention of another.

You deserve trust that may waver but never entirely falter. It will look nothing like control. It will look like freedom but with your best friend by your side holding your hand. There will be moments of jealousy, but these will be outweighed by smiles, laughter, trust, and love.

You deserve back rubs for no reason, dinner you don’t have to make alone, a hand to hold, a heart to feel, and a person who cannot imagine life without you in it.

You deserve security just as much as you deserve spontaneity. You will be comfortable but not so settled down that stubborn roots no longer give you the nutrients you need to grow. This person you are with will try the things you enjoy and you will try the things they do as well. You will find new things to do and new places to go because you both love to share these sorts of moments together.

You deserve someone who pushes you to be better, to seek out the best opportunities for you even if the next step is terrifying for you both.

You deserve chocolate when you are cranky, a partner to indulge in your guilty television pleasures, and someone who tries to kiss you even though they just watched you puke up breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is the person who laughs when you correct their grammar instead of getting mad, the one who knows they had better text you back, and the person who understands that you will not always have your “A game” out on display.

You deserve someone who wants to be better for you, someone who strives to be better for you, but, most importantly, you deserve someone who wants to be better for themselves. This is the type of person who will grow alongside of you and never dream of holding you back.

You deserve someone who is looking at the big picture in life, and that picture has you in it.

You deserve someone who continues looking forward, someone who doesn't stop constantly to look at the past. They may not like everything about who you were before, but they love who you have become. They know not to let your past trip them up for too long. You both came into the relationship with baggage that slowly unpacked itself and, even though it would be easy enough to pack up your things and go back to your respective homes, you both stay.

You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, a life that is so beautiful that you cannot tell if you are awake or still in bed dreaming, and someone who doesn't so much as put one foot out the door because they know you are not the person to walk away from. This will be the person who sticks around through thick and thin because they want to, not because they have to.

You deserve all of this and so much more, and you deserve it for a lifetime.

~ by Kyle Freelander

Keeping Our Hope in Love

The last month has been an incredibly difficult time for me. I found myself wrapped up in the stresses of life: moving to my new apartment, issues at the office, and being ill - but also hurt, rejection and betrayal from some people in my life which I thought would never happen. Yet through it all, I see the positive in all the craziness. I see the lessons to be learnt and gathered from all life's ups and downs. 

And so, I found myself losing hope in love. Not just romantic love, but even other types of love. Thank goodness the one type of love I will not fail to stop believing in, is that of the love God has for us. It is a love which never ceases, no matter what. And of course the love of my parents, which has demonstrated for me in my own life a kind of comprehension of how God loves us. In a few moments of despair, I found myself gripped and overwhelmed by the clutches of depression and anxiety. Through it all, I have learned some valuable lessons, to trust my instincts, who is always there for me, and who matters most in my life. 

So what do we do when we find ourselves losing hope? If life has taught me anything, it is that everything is temporary. Except for true love, which lasts forever, be it in whichever form. Yet in all of the troubles weighing upon my heart and mind, I found myself void of remembering this. But why does this happen I have been asking myself? 

Perhaps it is the apparent enormity of the issues one faces, the seemingly defeating stresses coming at us at each turn, or maybe the grief we feel at the loss of something or someone in our lives which brings our whole world crashing down all around us. Or so we think. It is easy to let these things overwhelm us and sink into a pit of despair, however it is easy for the person to say that things are not as bad as they seem when they are not in that valley of shadow. 

Something that has always gotten me through is remembering in a positive way that I have made it through so many other awful things, and that through every storm, there is always sunshine after the rain – and a beautiful rainbow! Never forget this, and keep pushing forward until you come out the other end in the warmth of happier, better days. You will make it, and you will be victorious! Things may get worse before they are better, but hang on; and do not lose hope. You are indeed stronger than you think.

I have realised I may not have a lot of good, true friends in my life; but if it weren’t for the many wonderful people I am so blessed with, I am sure my world would’ve been a darker place. The strength and love I have seen in these past dark days through these wonderful people have renewed my hope in love once again. Just because one finds yourself immensely hurt, betrayed or devastated by whatever circumstance befalls you – it may seem like all hope is lost, that you cannot love again, or that you will never trust once more – don't lose hope in love because Love will never give up on you. 

Reflection and Remembrance

The past few weeks have been eventful to say the least. I am back, finally and apologise for the silent, dormant pages that is my blog. Wow, I just cannot believe it has been 4 weeks since my last post. How they have flown. Busy days have come and gone – from my computer that crashed and needing to reload everything in its entirety, my scooter breaking down and trying to get it repaired, to sorting out a new one as a replacement, and then to organising my new apartment for my move end of the month. Big changes, but positive and exciting ones also. My week has also ended in sorrow, at the news of an old friend’s passing. How we should care for and pay attention those we are blessed with before it is too late!

Something profound also happened to me the past few weeks. In amongst all the hustle and bustle of daily life and all the happenings of the previous weeks, I realised that after my ordeal end of last year and the months of recovery thereafter; all the stress and strain I had been enduring had all been worked out for my good. Of course, I had gotten over it all initially, but the last few remnants of my broken heart had finally mended in the process. The busy schedule, combined with the many problems and issues I have been dealing with, all consumed my mind and helped me forget all that was. For those of you who do not know, I managed to escape from an abusive relationship that was doomed from the start. I look back now, and am amazed at how far I have come since those days, and how my life has changed for the better in every way, since I made a stand.

Now I look ahead to all that is to come. And I am excited, motivated, inspired. I am a lot stronger for going through what I did and now all the wiser. And so it is with many of life’s stumbling blocks, we need to turn them into stepping stones and move forward. The same way that time only moves forward, like an ever-flowing river, never ceasing for a second; so time ticks unbrokenly towards infinity. We cannot go back. Neither can we jump forward, we can only look down the river and its shores to what is ahead. Let us enjoy the present, wherever we are on our life’s journey. Let us also not forget our families and friends who need us by their side, before their journey ends. We cannot, no matter how much we worry over it, go back against the current of the river of time.

There is a quote I heard about a week or two ago, which has so much relevance to me now: “Time is like a river, you can never touch the same water twice because the flow that has gone by will never go by again. Enjoy your life today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Enjoy every moment of your life!”

We should learn from this, and remember it indeed.

Focus on Your Dreams

Recently, busy has not been the word! Thinking back to my first post of the year regarding setting goals, I distinctly remembering how I set mine. One of which being to write more often! How the days seemed to whiz by, fading into a blur of life, work, family and other plans. Only until one finally seems to jump off and escape this merry-go-round of time, do we then realise time has passed us by too fast. Again, pondering the same post I mentioned a moment ago, I was also speaking about living in the now. Good thing at times like these, life can pass you by too quickly! Taking note, this being a perfect example…

I am pleased to say that I am back and ready to start focusing on my goals. Namely one very big one I set for myself and that is to concentrate more on my writing. And so, after much deliberation on recent events in my own life (some great ones like my mom’s wedding, and others not so great such as getting my heart broken by nearest and dearest people to me); I look ahead with anticipation to the task ahead of me. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I always choose positivity, and how I can use this to my advantage. One way I have managed this in the past, is to write – whether it is submerging myself in my novels, or expressing my feelings (whatever they may be at the time) in poetry. So look out for more on these later. I have updated my blog a bit to accommodate news and info on this, so I feel I am set and ready to go! :)

In other words, there is no time like the present! Now is the time to do what you dreamed of, been putting off or keep forgetting due to life getting in the way. It is time to make time for my passions in life, and you should do the same. One never knows when it is too late and today was your last. I encourage you all to keep persevering. We have all been blessed with certain gifts, and is up to us to develop and use these talents to make something of them, and so in turn, help others along the way. This year is to be the year that I start getting somewhere with my dreams to publish my work. What will you be doing and focusing on, to get ahead?

New Day, New Year, a New Perspective on Things

Well, the new year of 2014 has finally dawned upon us and the memories of Christmas and the Festive Season all gone by. What was only a few weeks ago, seems like a distant memory now. Some of you, like me, have recently returned from holiday and are back at work/school/studies and the like. And in true New Year traditions, we find ourselves looking behind us on the road from whence we came; but also ahead to what is before us.

Resolutions – always something most of us consider at this point in time. Have you thought about what you would like to achieve this year? I believe this is a very good tradition in that it allows us to re-evaluate our dreams, goals, and things we have and would still like to achieve going forward in our lives. However, let us not dwell too much on the past; we need to look at right now.

As my mom always taught us growing up, there are three times you go through in life: yesterday, today and tomorrow…

• Yesterday is gone. It is over, and there is no going back. Time moves forward endlessly with a force unstoppable. So there is no point in reflecting too much on what was. Nothing anyone could possibly do will ever change that, and no amount of worrying and stressing on the past can change what was.
• Tomorrow is uncertain. Who is really assured of a tomorrow? No-one knows for sure they will even live past today, so why worry and fret over future events which have not happened?
• The only day one needs to truly focus on is today. It is the very moment we are in right now. All we have is the present, and it is in this very moment that one can make a change, live to the fullest and be the best you can be. Plan for what’s ahead, of course, but do not forget that one must leave the worry out of it!

Now is the time to grab hold of what you love, and what you want in your life. The perfect time may never come, and you could miss out on something amazing. So don't let it pass you by. Take the opportunity to tell the person you love how you feel, use the time you have to do what you have a passion for, plan that trip or read that book. Anything really you want to do, do it now! 

So, with this in mind, where have we come from this past year? Are there perhaps goals and dreams you perhaps did not accomplish last year? Do you feel like you failed? Don’t meditate on it. Remember you are blessed with another day, and it is a new year. It’s a new year to plan ahead and set new goals, or try again on old ones. You have been blessed with another chance to make a change. As I say this, I am pondering on my own life too, so take heart, you are not alone...