Adventures Abroad - Don't Give Up on Your Dreams

 Ever since I was a child, I had a deep longing to explore. As I got older, my knowledge and awareness of the world around me expanded. I learned of spectacular, amazing, exciting countries and locations. My eyes were opened to a wide world of opportunities. So much to see, would I ever be able to see it all?

Ireland, one of the first countries I discovered through a film I watched, captured my heart. Being a fervent fan of all things historical and mythological, the wealth of folklore and rich history astounded me to the core. Europe in general interested me, but not as much as this beautiful land.

I had just become a teenager when my high school history teacher taught us about heritage. We were given an assignment on family trees and instructed to do some research on our family history to be included in our project. Needless to say, I was incredibly thrilled to uncover that some of my ancestors had migrated from the gorgeous, green lands of Ireland. Ultimately, this inspired me even more. My first destination was set in my heart. It became my wish, my dream, my goal.

As the years went by, I did not for one moment let go of this vision. Although life brought me a multitude of distractions and many peaks and valleys in my journey, my desire to travel abroad remained strong.

Many years later, both my brother and sister along with their respective families, emigrated to Ireland in search of better opportunities. How I wished this could have been me! Their tales and photographs of all the wonderful places they visited in their adventures reignited my life-long hope to do the same. So many years passed, and still, I had not found the means or opportunity to make this a reality.

Finally, after several years of waiting for my opportunity to arrive, I was blessed with the means to travel abroad. A generous, awesome gift and just in time for my birthday too. What better way would be than to celebrate with my family after so long, and in a different country? The time finally came when I was jetting off to a marvellous, magical place. My whole being was filled with pure joy, thrill, and wonder as I realized it was all finally happening for real. 

Though I saw so many phenomenal places and had not seen all there is to see, it is but a small fraction of the possibilities out there to experience. The castles, ruins, monuments, ancient locations, and stunning landscapes I explored are forever etched in my mind. I left a piece of my heart in Ireland, but I remember it with gladness and I know I will be back someday. This was an adventure I will never forget, the first of many more yet to come.

You may feel that your dream or goal may never come to pass, but do not give up! You never know what the future may bring or when your moment will arrive. So keep dreaming, keep on believing, and most importantly of all, keep working towards what you want to achieve. With enough perseverance, positivity, and patience, you will get there. 

      

Life Lessons on Time

It has been nearly two years of not writing here on my blog, and I must say how I have missed it! So much has happened since the last post, good and bad, yet unfortunately I seem to have let the bad stuff and the busyness of life get the better of me by allowing my inspiration to cease in all the craziness. That is changing now, as I have been on a journey through this period of rediscovering myself, growing and learning a lot, as well as getting back to goal and intention setting for the way ahead of me. There is so much to write about and share, I have my work cut out for me now! Yet no complaints, all smiles and happy thoughts as I write this because I know through all the stuff that has happened, even though I have been through some tough situations, I have no regrets because it is all working for my good and taught me some valuable lessons I needed so desperately to learn. Now that I am back to writing again, I look forward to continuing sharing all the lessons and inspirations of life I am learning along the way!

Where do I begin? There have been some major events that have taken place, and significant lessons learned as a result. I think these things are of vital importance for not just me, but for us all to take note of. One of the main things that has stood out for me the last year and a half, is of the frailty and uncertainty of life. Last year two of my close friends and a family member passed away, followed this year by two more friends in the last few months. It has been a real eye-opener that time is promised to none of us. This I know, but is as always a good reminder! It has been tough to deal with so much people leaving this world; because like me, there have been some friends of mine also who have lost people in their lives also through this same period of time.

The lesson in all of this for me has been to make sure I focus my attention on the people who really matter and are present in my life, the things I care about and love, and to start seriously working towards my goals and dreams – because these are what has real significance. Too often we get swept away by life’s issues, work, tiredness and being busy with everything that comes along day by day. And then, before we realise it, days / months / years have passed and we have not achieved what we have set out for, or spent time with our families or friends we have wanted so desperately to do for so long.

When one starts having so many people pass away in a short space of time, one cannot help but sit up and take notice of life in all its beauty and value. Not just have I realised life's improbability, I also became conscious of my own mortality and the reminder of my near-death experience I had many years ago. This has resulted in me finally gaining the last bit of motivation I so desperately needed at last to continue working at achieving my dreams and goals. These events have been a wake-up call to me, after getting distracted by life and procrastinating way too much – a personal goal and improvement I thought I had completely overcome after working so hard on myself with this. Thankfully, things are now back on track and I have begun to focus my attention to where it needs to go. Positive and exciting changes, improvements and processes are ahead as I have begun my journey to accomplishing what I need to.

I was reading an inspirational piece the other day, which had the same theme which made me sit up and take notice. It’s amazing how by some Divine Plan all these messages and signs come to us, if we are open and attentive enough to see and hear them! The author was saying that anyone who ever accomplished anything great in life (for example: Albert Einstein, Princess Diana, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, to name but a few) had the exact same number of hours in their day as we do. That today we have more ways to solve more problems and get more done in a single day than have ever existed before. He went on to say that our “lack of time” is not a time problem, but a priorities issue. How profound! We need to refocus our awareness on who and what matters in our lives, and stop chasing those which do not serve our purpose. Be grateful for each day, for life, for your blessings. Our time here is limited. We are only assured of today – no, we are only assured of right now. It is all we have. So, let us make the most of it, before we end up living in regret. There is a lesson in this for us all.

7 Steps to Attaining True Happiness

So the last few months have been a busy time. Busy with life, and busy learning so much through all of the ups and downs I have encountered on the way. This year started out alike to how last year ended, full of troubles, sadness and obstacles on my path. But I resisted. Learning from previous experiences I have been through, I chose not to give in and let these issues get the better of me. Every time keeping focus on all the positives in my life, the truly important people still remaining in my life after some had left, and focused all my attention on the things that needed my attention. The months that ensued these negative events in my life were a little turbulent at first but as I kept my focus and positivity; I overcame it all, learnt a great deal, and found myself happy regardless. It has been difficult, I won’t lie. Today I can say I am truly happy with my life and all that I am blessed with: a permanent job finally after working hard towards this for so long, a beautiful home overlooking my town including a sea view, my own reliable transport, amazing friends and family, my good health, food at all times, clothing and warmth, running water and all the other comforts of home (to name but only a few).

How did I get to this point in my life, and how is it that I could stay so positive in the face of such adversity and carry on through it all? Friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances I have met along the way have asked me this. Perhaps it is time to share my successes I have achieved regarding this in more detail, in the hope that you too can apply these practices and lessons too and achieve success in this. Believe me, the road of life is never all a dark, cold, menacing and frightful road. It is made up of many ups, downs, flat roads, straight or windy paths, dark valleys and high mountaintops too. We just have to make the most of every step of the way of this magnificent life that we are blessed with, for everything happens for a reason and each stage is to teach you something, helping build and grow your character.

We should be living right now, in the present, today. The rest is untouchable, and no amount of stressing, worrying or over-thinking the past, future, and even today with all its trials and tribulations – will ever fix any of that. It robs today of its joy, steals your happiness and peace. This should not be so, for this moment shall never again come to pass. But how do we get to this place of harmony and sound thinking, I hear you ask. Well, there are numerous ways to achieve this, and all by the power of reconditioning our minds and our way of thinking. Everything starts with our attitudes. These affect our thoughts and way of thinking, which in turn determine our actions, which then affects our lives and ultimately, our future. Let’s look at the some various things we can start doing to get to this place of peace and having more of a sound, strong mind…

1. Focus on your blessings – not the negative, depressing troubles weighing you down
There are plenty of troubles and pains in this world and throughout your life, but what a lot of people do not realise is that there are far more blessings and positives to count than the negatives. Even when it may seem there is more bad points in your life to count than good, if you look closely, you will find so many blessings to be thankful for. By having an attitude of gratitude, we shift our focus from what is going wrong in our lives over to all the things going right. By doing this, you stop worrying so much over the bad and letting it have so much control in your life. Your thoughts, energy and time that was once spent over stressing and being depressed over the bad, becomes free. This freedom allows you to get focused on the people and things that matter and are still in your life. It ultimately helps you in not missing all that is right and good in your life, which is happening right now. These are things that deserve your time and energy. Forget about the rest.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others and learn to love yourself
You are unique, one of a kind. Beautifully created in every way, inside and out. Comparing yourself to someone else proves useless, one cannot compare two things of equal worth even though different but has equal usefulness and value. No-one is the same as another and this includes our distinctive array of talents and gifts. If you feel you are not gifted with anything useful then you still have a lot of work on yourself to do, including discovering more on learning who you are and what you are capable of. No person can ever be you or fill your place, nor can you do this for anyone else. You have been created to be you, so be just that and shine your own light for everyone else to see. It really does not matter what other people think of you, their opinions are not necessarily the truth and a totally biased viewpoint from how they see you or think about you. The only thing that matters is how you see yourself. There are many negative thoughts and questions we keep asking ourselves when comparing ourselves and lives, often caused by the importance we place on what others’ think of us. Things such as: why am I still alone and single, am I not good enough for my friends / family / partner, I am not as talented or gifted as he/she is, why can’t I be more beautiful or desirable, if only I could be as well-off as he/she, etc. There are an endless array of these, these are but a few. We should be shifting our emphasis off other people and comparing, back onto ourselves and focus on working on us. After all, we are the only ones accountable for our own soul, mind and heart – nobody else. When it comes to relationships of any kind, it is far worse to be trapped in one that is so wrong for you than to be without that person at all. Remember this! Your well-being of your heart, mind and soul is far more important. When you accept yourself, and this means totally – including your flaws and weaknesses – you will find yourself one step closer to self-acceptance, forgiving yourself for your own mistakes because you are only human and mess up from time to time like we all do. Finally you will be able to love yourself for the beautiful, amazing being you are created to be.

3. Find ways to put the past in the past, and keep them there
The past can often come back to haunt us, and this comprises of times where we have thought we have dealt with something and left it in the past but something happens to remind us of these hurtful or upsetting times. The truth of the matter is this: if we still get upset, are uncomfortable speaking of and cry over things that happened in the past, we have not yet gotten over them and still allow those occasions to affect us. In the events that involve people, it also means we have not forgiven them and harbour a grudge or resentment towards them. Once you reach a point where you can talk about something and not be upset over it, you have left it in the past once and for all. It then finally loses its power over your emotions, mind and life. Remember, forgiveness is essential in moving on and this means leaving it behind you completely. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person but has everything to do about you – you do this mostly for yourself and your own peace of mind. Whether you forgive someone or not, it doesn’t affect them in any way. You can hold a grudge as long as you live yet the other person can live a fulfilled happy life while you continue to suffer with constant thoughts on circumstances and individuals which you allow to continually hurt yourself. In the end, you basically end up hurting yourself by harbouring unforgiveness in your heart. We are all human and are flawed, just remember to learn to forgive yourself too and make peace with everything and everyone wherever you can.

4. Learn from what happened and apply it to your life now, for future experiences
No one likes to go through bad patches in our lives but I have learned we always have a choice: we can either let it affect us by having power and control over us, or we can decide to turn things around and use it for our own benefit. We can do this by using everything (yes everything – there is always a lesson to be learnt) to learn from, grow, strengthen, gain wisdom and insight that we can grasp from each situation. Every time you choose to learn from and get over a calamity in your life, you win! The way life works too, is that we sometimes go through the same lesson over and over again, until we learn what we need to from it. I never saw this in the past when I heard it from a friend, but it has proven so true in my life. Especially over the last two years when I could finally see it happening after I started examining my life and each hurdle I came to after that, and started making some changes in my attitudes towards these trials and adjusted my way of thinking. If you are battling to put something behind you, make sure you find a way how to and remember to look for the lesson to be learnt so that the next time you can avoid going through a similar experience, standing strong in the face of it.

5. Don’t worry over things you have no control over
I have spoken of this in a previous blog, on how my mum taught me this very valuable lesson. If there is nothing you can do about something your mind is occupied about, or if it is something that happened in the past, or even something that is yet to come – do not worry about it, there is no point! What amount of worrying, stressing, being anxious, or over-thinking (especially this, which can create a whole lot of new paranoid thoughts and feelings); can ever change that situation you are fretting over? Answer is absolutely nothing, it does not change a thing! So let it go, put it behind you and concentrate on what you can do now. If there isn’t anything you can do now, then there is no reason to worry and you are letting your mind and heart be robbed of its happiness and peace. You are also being robbed of your time doing so, which you will never get back again. Do not let this happen. Every moment in your day you have a chance to be happy about something, make each moment count. I feel that maybe we place too much importance and focus on the obstacles on the way, forgetting that these make us stronger to endure the rest of the journey and so help us become stronger to face any bigger obstacles that may come up in future. Too much focus is also placed on the past and all that happened before this, or what is yet to come including the worry and anxiety of what shall we do when this or that happens. Not past nor future occurrence is touchable, tangible and accessible. Do not burden your mind with these times.

6. Don’t worry about the opinions, actions and words of others
There is an old saying, “What others think of you is none of your business”. I heard this long ago but have only just recently in the last few years finally seized this knowledge and applied it to my life. We are all equal, none of us having dominion or any sort of authority over another as a human being. That includes making us feel any less of ourselves than what we are, we are all special and unique in our own right and no one should be allowed to make us feel any less than beautiful, amazing and good about ourselves. Nor should any have the power to decide what another person should be doing in their lives and how they choose to do it. If we want to do something because we love doing it, then no one else should tell us we cannot do it, or judge us for doing it (especially if they themselves are doing the same). By allowing yourself to listen to others opinions and nasty or judgemental remarks, you give that person power over you – to create misery, depression, oppression, hurt and frustration caused in your being and life. Don’t let this occur, take back control over your own life. Even if these people are those you care about, it does not matter! What matters is those that remain by your side and are on the same mission as you. The ones inspiring you, looking out for you and caring for you. Focus on these people and leave the rest behind. As hard as it is, we need to take care of ourselves too.

7. Focus on yourself, and what makes YOU happy
The best way to make yourself happy is to do what you love and by concentrating on your joys in life. This is turn creates happiness and satisfaction while you do these things – so in turn bringing about a cheerful environment, light aura and enjoyable mood about you. The more you do these activities, the happier you will find yourself, but we have to do this on a regular basis. I have learnt this in the recent months through the stresses and busy times of everyday life, that I too have been neglecting myself and my passions. I discovered that also by not allowing ourselves time like this for us, we neglect your own soul, mind and heart – we can easily fall into the trap of letting outside influences affect our life and joy. It is also found that setting some of your time on your loves in life, is a way of occupying the mind; getting it focused off the stresses, pains and frustrations of everyday life; and at the same time bringing your soul the rest, recreation and relaxation it needs. When it comes to self-love and self-acceptance, you have to realise that you deserve happiness, joy, peace and love. You deserve to do what you love doing, because that’s what YOU are all about. It is not about someone else. So look at focusing on those and do them today. It is so worth it, and so are you!

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Every moment you live is an opportunity for you to be happy. You know how sometimes it seems that life is just throwing you one curved ball after another? Well, guess what, you have a great way to respond! You can use every opportunity, every single one, to be happy. Enjoy your life. Don't just take a shower – feel and receive pleasure from the water on your skin, feel it washing away all the negativity and worries on your mind. Don't just take a walk – enjoy the sights and sounds all around you, the fragrances of the trees and the flowers. Don’t just eat and drink – take time to taste and enjoy eat bite or sip to the fullest. Don't just drive your car – sing to your favourite songs. Do everything with this approach and you will find yourself enjoying each moment of the day. Do not waste a single moment to find reasons to be happy, there are so many of them!

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 3

During Easter weekend, has seen a long-time wish fulfilled. Many years of prayers answered, it all happened so quickly. Just last time I was speaking of how it has been a goal of mine to go and visit my Grandmother who I haven’t seen in ten years. Thanks to my awesome parents, and much Divine Intervention, I finally saw this become a reality. What a blessing to be able to see and spend time with her again, an even bigger blessing for my parents helping to make this a reality, and for her being ready to come back home. Thanks to my brother and family as well, she is here, at long last! 

It has been remarkable, hearing your stories as well as all the amazing feedback from those who sent me messages, mail and Facebook comments. Your support and sharing has been rewarding to say the least. Through the reminiscing on all things I have learned, the fond memories, the amazing women I have been blessed by – I am glad to see it has been blessing your lives by inspiring you too. This is the last in this series. I hope you all continue find some more insight into life from these three wise women I know, who I am proud and honoured to call close and treasured friends of mine... 

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Many years ago, after I left school and after my motor accident, I moved back home during my recovery period. Not long afterward, while going back to our family church, I became friends with an amazing friendship circle – some of which are friends from school and some still my friends to this day. After one of our first get-togethers, which happened to be a movie night at a very good friend’s house, I became friends with his mom that evening. We instantly connected and this remarkable woman of God truly inspired me from the first moment. 

What a perfect example to prove that the right people come into your life at the right time, and for a reason!  My friend Tina has always been voice of reason and encouragement, through various chapters of my life. My oldest mentor besides my mum and gran, she has always uplifted my spirits when I have felt down, made me feel important as I (and we all) should be, and refreshed my faith at many times I needed it the most. At this stage of my life I was going through much depression and anxiety but she always made me feel safe and reminded me that we are loved and are not alone. Even when we feel alone, we should know that we are surrounded by divine love. Like God, love is not visible, but that does not mean it is not there. You are loved. You are exceptional. You are priceless and precious. 

The other lesson I learned through all of this, is how each of us is a special and unique, beautiful creation. It does not matter who you are, where you have come from, what has happened or happening in your life, what you look like or dependent on what others think of you – regardless of any of these things, you are loved and accepted. You may not feel this at times, but there is always at least a few people in your life that feel this way about you. Yet, no matter what anyone says or thinks, only one person’s opinion counts – and that is God’s. Do not spend your life trying to impress anyone else, or trying to gain people’s love and acceptance. You were made for a purpose, so live it. Show the world who you are and don’t forget your own self-worth and remember not to let others make you feel any less. Be you, no one else can! 

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I moved back to my home coastal city of Durban just over ten years ago, after being away for a few years working in a different city far from home. Many terrible things had happened to lead up to that point, and I shall not into detail on that now, but let’s just say a change was needed – a new beginning. I escaped from everything harmful that was poisoning my soul and robbing me of my happiness. Longing for home and my family, I relocated back. There I started contracting for a new company and set out on the next chapter of my life. Not long after this, I met a wonderful and inspiring lady who worked at a pharmacy next door to my company. It was not long until we became very good friends ... and to this day Diann has remained one of my best friends, a wise mentor and pillar of strength and inspiration when times have been tough. 

Though times have been hard, difficult situations and tragedies have come to pass in the past few years, I came to realise that we are blessed no matter what happens. Even through the bad, negative things that come our way, there is always something good that comes of it. We may not see it at first, but it is definitely almost always prevalent at the end of it. At some times it may be just to make you stronger and get over a weakness, way of thinking or outlook on life and teach you something new. Whatever it is, always look for the positive, learn from your experiences and move on. Don’t stay in that bad place of depression and sadness. There is always something to be happy, grateful and rejoice over. Trust me, this has proven true in every circumstance for me, all thanks to this very essential lesson learnt. 

No matter the time in between we have seen each other, the distance apart we lived, or anything that came our way, furthermore I learned that true friends are forever. There are a few other close friends I am so blessed with in my life, and they too, have taught me this. A true friendship remains the same no matter what! Each and every time we message each other, mail, Facebook or call – nothing has changed our friendship – and I will always be grateful and appreciative for that. Through all that we have gone through in our lives Diann has always been there to lift my spirits, comfort with words of wisdom and direction, and taught me to stand firm and remember we are not alone throughout our lives. There is always at least a few people in one’s life who are there for you, including God. So don’t ever give up, do not lose hope. You are never truly alone. 

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The third (and definitely not least!) inspiring lady who always comes to mind, is my dear friend Sue. Almost six years ago, we met online on a social media website, where I learned she had the same rare heart condition my mum has. We instantly clicked. At around the same time, she was going in for surgery to assist correcting this condition. Hoping for the best outcome, whilst knowing how delicate a procedure and syndrome this is – I prayed. Pleased to say, Sue came out of it well, and we have remained best friends to this day. 

The strength, courage and faith which she displayed through this trial in her life and right in the beginning of our wonderful friendship inspired me enormously. It reminded me of my mum and the health complications she had faced already in her life, particularly with the same condition, and how strong both of them remained in God, whilst keeping their faith intact and not giving up on life. This has been a lesson I have learnt over and over through all the other hardships Sue had been through, yet she stood firm and endured it all. It taught me the value on how to be a strong through all times and weather the storms which come our way. We could be face the worst and most terrifying of situations, but it is up to us to have the right mind-set and positivity that we will get through it. Remain strong and know that the tough times will pass – and remember if there is nothing more you can do about it, to stop worrying over it and hang on to your faith that things will work out in the best way. 

An additional big inspiration to me, is that I learned also the meaning of true friendship through Sue, like I did with other close friends. We both stay in different countries on practically opposite sides of the planet. We never get to see each other in person, but yet the friendship forever remains the same. It just goes to show that friendship is not measured by the length of time you know each other, or if you see each other often or not. True friendship proves when your relationship never changes, no matter what (and this goes for other types of relationships as well). It is in the depth of care, consideration and concern you feel for one another’s lives and well-being. By never letting each other down. To always be there for them, even if in spirit. This is what it is all about! 

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What better and appropriate way to end this series, around the time of Mother’s Day. A day amongst all the other days in the year to celebrate you and all you do for those around you. To all you beautiful, extraordinary ladies I have been inspired by and mentioned in this series who have blessed my life in ways I cannot count, I pay tribute to you all and want you to know how much you are loved and appreciated. Know also that you have forever changed and influenced my life in a grand way. Forever will I be thankful for all you have taught, directly, or indirectly, by inspiring me to be better than what I am. What I can say for sure is that my life certainly would not be the same without you all in it!

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 2

Last time, I began to tell you about the most influential and greatest women my life has been blessed with. For myself, I can definitely say it has been rewarding as well as enlightening to recollect the major things I have learnt so far. I sincerely hope you all have been (and will be) able to take something from the wise lessons I have learnt along the way. Many thanks to you all who have given me feedback and all your messages of support. I am so pleased you have all been inspired muchly!

Since I was born, I was fortunate to have another very incredible woman alongside my mum who taught me plenty of lessons I carry with me up until today. Whenever I spend time with her I found to be always motivated, learn much and gain a lot of valuable insight into life – physically and especially spiritually. My grandmother has always been a role model to me, a wise teacher, healer and a spiritual mentor throughout all the years of my life. One of the most true Christian people I know, my gran has always been a great inspiration to me. Sadly, for the past ten years, she has been living in another town far away on the other end of the country. She is missed every day. It has been a goal of mine for a very many years to go up and visit her but unfortunately this has not been possible yet. Hoping this year that it will become a reality, should I manage to get the means to and finances for it. Like I say many times, time can quickly run away with us, and so we need to make time for our loved ones while we can, in any way we can.

There are so many wisdoms I have treasured since young which my gran has taught me but I would say the most significant of these were those on life and the example she set for good, honest, Godly living. Her selfless giving and care for others in general always stood out for me. My gran was always there for us or others, always generously gave of her time and whatever resources she could spare. The ultimate sacrifice was ten years ago when she gave up basically all she owned to move away from the coast, move in and assist with looking after my uncle’s family when my aunt had had cancer at the time. This taught me the true meaning of sacrifice, selflessness as well as serving and loving others. Through this very valuable lesson, I also learnt from her that what you sow, that you will also reap. Also known as the law of karma, that whatever you give out, it will come back to you multiplied. Do good, be good, and live good lives. Be a blessing to others when you have the opportunity. Give selflessly, cheerfully, honestly. Give what you can, when you can – in turn, when it is you who is in a predicament, you will find that others will be there for you as well. God blesses those who look after others and give of themselves. It always comes back to you, no matter what you give out. Something I noticed throughout my life, is that my gran never went without, and just as she always reiterated “God will provide”, so it had been always!

Another much-loved value learnt from my dear grandmother, has to be that of the miracle of creation, the diversity and beauty of all things, including all human beings. Our long walks through the gardens at home where she and my great grandmother (my grandmother’s mum) lived, or our outings to the various beaches down the coast and other places we went; provided a perfect environment for an outdoor classroom in nature, teaching us much on this subject. One of my gran and great gran’s pride and joy was their garden of an array of a stunning assortment of many flowers, and through the terraced gardens we explored many times. Our frequent trips to the beaches near and far down from where they resided, also enabled us to see many diverse places, and sea life, as we explored each destination in its fullness. There was even a beach my gran took us to which had a small cove where millions of tiny little sea shells collected. The variety and uniqueness of these ranged vastly, and so through teachings at times such as these, she taught us to appreciate everything and everyone all around us – each being and creation a special individual and marvelous design. Each one of us is precious in our own way I learned, do not ever let anyone ever tell you any different. You have a very important part to play in life and have your own extraordinary place in this life, just as everything else does in creation. We are all one, all in this together. And each of us have just as much a right to live and be happy as the next person.

Up until midway through high school, my great grandmother also played a very crucial part in my life. We used to go visit her with my family for weekends or holidays up until she got quite old and my grandmother moved in to take care of her. Then we got to visit with both of them every time we went by. I remember the awesome English Breakfasts, the fabulous Sunday lunches and let’s not forget the deliciously mouth-watering baked goods! Everything was always so scrumptiously home cooked and full of healthy goodness. One of my favourite places to be, was at my great gran’s feet or by her side on the couch, overlooking the broad sea view and valley with its river which wound its way to the beach some distance away. The same river which came past the bottom of her massive  garden which terraced down towards it, away from her big house on the hill overlooking this magnificent view. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to all her tales of the old days when she used to live in England, or when she paged through the old photo albums telling me much of our family history, and all her many wise lessons on life. Sadly this only lasted up until high school until she passed. My other grandmother passed away long before I was born and has been unfortunate not to have gotten to know her. According to my mum, she was just like my gran and I would have learnt a lot from her as well. But the stories of her live on, and I find great inspiration and strength in hearing them, although she may not be here physically, she lives on in spirit. We remember them always, with fondness, joy and much love.

Well that is all for now, else I could go on forever reminiscing. I will be posting my next post (and last in this series) next week. Please feel free to share your own motivating stories with the rest of us, so we too could be enlightened by the lessons you have learned. Until next time; keep smiling, keep focused on your self-worth and the value of those you are blessed with. Let’s not forget those who have been there for you through your life who supported you, have always lifted you to new heights, successes and cared for you greatly. Make the time. Learn from them what you can, before it is too late.

Inspirational Women in My Life, Part 1

This past week, in my quiet time of reflection and meditation in the mornings, I have been reading up on some significant ways to improve our relationships with others and on how to appreciate the ones you have been blessed with. The author spoke of the most influential women present in his life since childhood and how he had been forever changed by the wisdom, life lessons and inspiration he had received from each of them. This got me to thinking about those wonderful women who have changed mine. The next few posts are dedicated to each one of you. You have all made an enormous impact on my life and I have learned much through all our adventures together this far. So I decided I need to share some of these teachings with you, hoping they make some sort of impact on your life. If not as big as mine, hopefully in some other profound and inspirational way!

When there is so much you can learn from someone, and it being an ongoing process, it becomes difficult to find a starting point to tell of all the lessons you have learnt along the way. This beautiful woman has been my mentor from a very young age, a close friend, teacher, life coach and voice of reason. She is also the strongest person I know, and has brought myself and my siblings through a great deal of hurt and difficulties faced through all our years growing up. She has sacrificed much. She has gone without so that we could have. So much troubles endured, but so many joys we have had … and we made it. We are closer as a family as a result. This amazing lady is my mum.

Of all the things my mum taught us, the first very prominent lesson that has always stuck in my mind is the lesson of the ‘Yesterday Today Tomorrow’ bush (species name Brunfelsia Pauciflora). When I was very young, before the age of ten, we used to have one in our garden not far from my bedroom window. The fragrant smell was marvelous and still one of my favourites to this day. If any of you know what plant I am talking about, you will know it makes three different colours of flower on one plant. A new colour blooms each day, giving it its nickname. Unlike other flowers, this plant’s flowers never last very long, just like our lives from day to day. My mum taught us that life is a lot like this…
• Yesterday is past, gone, history. There is nothing any of us can do to change what has happened before. No amount of worry, regret, guilt or stress will ever bring back those days. So forget about the bad and remember the good – in this way, you will be taking the negative and turning it into positive, all while focusing on the good things and remembering how far you have come, what you have learned and how this has strengthened and improved you for the better.
• Tomorrow may never come. The thing about life is that we never know what is coming next. Sure you could have faith and positivity as big as the entire world, but no one knows when their day has come to depart this life and move on to the next. Only God decides that. There is nothing we can do to change what will happen next, what events will emerge, or which people will enter our lives, until it takes place. If this is so, why worry? There is no use burdening your mind and heart with things that have not yet come to pass – do not focus on the future.
• Today – it is all we have. And this is also a fragile hope, because we may think we have the entire day yet to live, however in an instant things could change. I learnt this lesson fifteen years ago when I was in a very bad accident, including various other adversities throughout the years that followed. All we are ever guaranteed is the here and now. We should be living our lives for today. As the famous old saying goes: Carpe Diem, meaning “seize the day”. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, we should be seizing every moment and opportunity we can to truly live, while we still have the chance.

The next lesson which is also just as important to me and a very similar message, is that God’s timing is perfect. Things will always happen when they are destined to, when you are ready, and when the time is right. I learned that “everything happens for a reason”. And it really does indeed. Most, if not all the time, we don’t understand why things happen the way they do. I can hear my mum telling me this now, and remember in the beginning I did not quite understand this lesson until I had been through it a few times. This valuable nugget of wisdom has helped me through many things once my heart finally learnt it. There is always a lesson to be learned from whatever we face (good or bad), a new direction we should be taking to lead us to where we are destined to be, certain people cut out of our lives for our own good, the right job to come our way, the right friends, circumstances, etc. The possibilities could go on and on. Remember to always trust and have faith that things will work out well – stay positive, stay focused and stay happy!

On that note, this just reminds me of the something else we were always taught. Growing up, we had a tough time getting by. Living through our parents being divorced at a very young age and my mum struggling to make ends meet, whatever food, clothing and any other opportunities came our way; my mum taught us the value of appreciation and gratitude for all we had. There is always something to be grateful and happy about. No matter what our circumstances, we are always blessed and fortunate in ways others in this world aren't. Even if it is to be alive, that is at least one blessing to count. We will never be happy until we decide to be, if we can just look at what we have and see we have a lot more going for us than a lot of those unfortunate out there.

Going through tremendous bouts of depression during school, caused due to many factors I had to face growing up, my self-esteem and confidence took a very hard knock. I could not see a way out plenty of days I faced this affliction. It was something I carried into my adulthood and finally overcome, but it all started with these wise words I was taught: “You are unique and one of a kind. You are special and have a very important role to play in life. You have a destiny to fulfill, a reason for living, a purpose divinely set out for your life.” My mum taught me these things since I was in high school, and although I couldn't see it at the time, I can clearly now that I am older. We are all equal, no matter what you look like, what gender, race, orientation, likes/dislikes, and everything about you – it does not change the fact that each of us are special and alive for a reason. Remember that if ever you feel like giving up. No-one can be you except for you. Why would you want to be anybody else, or please anybody else, when you are one of a kind!

Of course there are many more virtuous morals and values and I have taken to heart but to speak of all of these, I would have to write a many more posts! Next time, I will be sharing some more wise lessons learned from some more inspirational women I am blessed to know. Have a beautiful week and remember to count your blessings!

Using, Growing and Sharing your Gifts

Each of us are different and special in our own way. Even if you think you do not have anything to offer – you in fact do. We all have our own distinct talents and gifts unique to each person. It is up to us to develop, use and share them amongst those in our lives. If you are unsure what you are gifted in, decide today to make a conscious effort to find out. Similarly, we should also be using what has been given to us, before it is too late to get the chance to. There is a saying that one of my best friends has: “Use what Mother Nature has given you before Father Time takes it away.” A wise saying indeed. But what does this teach us? If anything, there are two things that stand out for me.

1.       Time waits for no-one

We are never guaranteed on the time we have left in this life. Should we not utilise our gifts and talents, one day it may be too late when our life in this world comes to a close. Then it would have all been for nothing and your abilities wasted. You never know, the helping hand lent to a friend or stranger could mean anything to them: be it someone finding the courage to face another day, or being put on the path to their destiny by providing whatever they need, or inspiring our fellow man by encouraging those to do the same and make a difference in other people’s lives (especially when this has to do with helping those in need). There is so much we can do. Also, once a moment has passed in which you can help someone, you may never have another again.

2.       Nurturing or neglecting?

Secondly, and I had this discussion with a friend not so long ago; we need to keep on nurturing, strengthening, developing (not just maintaining) and improving all we know and are talented with. Just as the dancer needs to keep practising to make sure they are on top of their game, or the teacher educating themselves what they need to in order to teach their students effectively – so we need to do the same with whatever we have. Don’t be surprised if your passions in life don’t improve, or go nowhere. We need to keep feeding and growing in these areas, just the same as we need food to grow and live. Our whole being needs nourishment of all sorts to keep on going, and keep on growing, Make sure you are not neglecting yourself in any area.

Yes I know what some of you are thinking, specifically those who know me, I should have in fact been following my own advice! I have been reminded of this fact several times in the past few months that my passion for writing, needs attention at least on a more regular basis. Now that all the stresses and issues have been sorted out in my life; the job search and interviews done and dusted (a tedious as well as time-consuming task I must add), financial dramas over, relationship crises concluded a while ago, been there for friends through whatever has come our way. All major distractions and stress have passed for now, thankfully. I am now more focused than ever before, I am wiser and stronger. It is time to remain focusing on my gifts no matter what, as do I hope that you will focus on yours as well.

Letting anything come in the way of our dreams and goals, only damages our own lives, but sometimes this can’t be helped. We just need to keep on making sure we pick ourselves up, dust off and keep moving forward. Standing still not going anywhere, stagnating or even procrastinating (gosh even I too am guilty of this), is not where we should be. Find ways to progress, even in the smallest way, and you will do well.

The Greatest Valentine: Love for my Family & Friends

Valentine’s Day – a day numerous people all over the world utilise as a special day on which to spoil their loved ones, and show their love. However, we find more and more these days how the world around us has capitalised on this (as well as other holidays in the year). We sometimes seem to lose sight of the fact that we also don’t need one specific day to show our love and care to others, but in fact, every day should be like Valentine’s Day for those we hold most dear.

This year I had big plans for this Friday past. I planned on putting up this post too but am glad I was too busy and never got around to it; because really, as I have just said, is not necessary to express my feelings on just this one particular day and be clichéd in doing so! So, now that I look back on what was a rather eventful and rather ‘interesting’ evening, a few things have stood out for me.

My dear sister and I, made plans to do something together this year as we are both currently single. We went down to the beach to one of the bonfire parties they hold periodically in tribute of various festivals and special occasions. We were so keen. The beach is both of our favourite places to be, and under a full moon rising, even more so and magical a place we could not resist to be. This past week had brought about new stresses with it, things I learnt and experienced: being deceived again by someone I did not expect this from – and this after I was still getting over losing a best friend who did the same. Yet, I still had an aura of positivity wrapped around me, and nothing was going to destroy the evening I so looked forward to.

As I stepped onto the cool, soft sands of the moonlit beach, I could hear the sound of drums, music, laughter and merrymaking. The first voice which came to my ears was that of my sister, my best friend, my twin soul. Joy filled my heart and for a moment; I forgot about the doubts lingering in the dark corners of my mind. Here I was home. Here, amongst those who love me dearly. Nothing else mattered. Some friends of ours met us there, and in no time I found myself surrounded by some of the most awesome and amazing souls I know. Even some new ones who I got to connect with. What a pleasure, what awesome fun, and a good network of friends to support each other on this special occasion. As the evening ensued, I realised that even with things not working as we planned – even if we did not end up with a special someone as many would've liked this day – none of that mattered. I was surrounded by love, by the some of the great people I have been blessed with.

After learning a few truths over the weekend, by Monday I was over the hurt and frustration of it all. I finally had come to grips with the situations my sister, myself and two other friends had all been experiencing recently. I came to realise something which I have learnt many times in my life: should you be single, remember not to let it get you down. Do not for one second let any holiday or celebration depress you if you find yourself standing on the path of life with no partner by your side. For if you look around you just a little longer, a bit more carefully, you will notice you are not alone at all. There, all around you in a shroud of protection, a network of support; of love, care, upliftment and positivity – are the ones who never leave your side.

And that’s the greatest, most exceptional Valentine of all.

People False and True

Last week I lost a friend. I never thought it would happen, but it did. The harsh reality of deception, lies and betrayal led to a broken heart. Mine. But, as they say, life goes on - and you have to pick up the pieces moving on as best you can. To keep progressing one needs to continue on. One cannot linger on what was; only on what is now and push forward. It is not easy. Trust me, I can vouch for that. Just remember if this happens to you, whether a friend, partner or anyone else in your life lets you down - and you will have that - don't let it hinder your progress. Don't for one second let it break you. Please remember at all times, whatever you do, do not let yourself succumb to bitterness. You are worth much more than that to let yourself be defeated! 

God has placed people in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. A reason to teach us, or us to teach them. A season for us to grow and learn by something we are going through, or something we need to experience in life for a time to shape and mould us. A lifetime to be there throughout our lives for love, support and to teach us some very important foundations for living. This is a valuable lesson I have learnt throughout my life. We are also there to love, support and care for the people we are blessed with around us. But unfortunately, this is not always a possible sentiment received from others in your life. Yet it is important to learn and grow from whatever we go through, to move past the obstacle, and rise above it. Every little stumbling block you come across your path on the road of life, God will use either teach you, strengthen you or mould you into who you are meant to be. But it is up to us to grab hold of that opportunity to turn it into something that will build our character, not break it down. 

I find myself standing here looking at my life. And what I can see is all the extraordinary people I am left with: some I have known for very many years, others not as long. However all have a very special place in my heart. And I am thankful. So very grateful for those who are always there no matter what. Joy rises in my heart at the thought of that, and helps me forget the past betrayal from certain ex's and false friends. A wise teaching I have learnt through all this is that if people really care and want to be in your life, they will make the effort to do so. In learning this, I have come to a place of peace and let things be as they be. Life is too short to chase the wrong people, situations and focus on the wrong things... 

However, it is also sometimes not about the length of time you have known someone, but the depth of the connection you share. It is in recognising and acknowledging these beautiful souls, the blessings we have in our life and focusing on the right people; that make life so worth living. To good and true friends and wonderful people I am so fortunate to have by my side: much love, thanks and gratitude to you all. Thank you for remaining in my life. My heart and soul is glad to know you.

Focus on Your Dreams

Recently, busy has not been the word! Thinking back to my first post of the year regarding setting goals, I distinctly remembering how I set mine. One of which being to write more often! How the days seemed to whiz by, fading into a blur of life, work, family and other plans. Only until one finally seems to jump off and escape this merry-go-round of time, do we then realise time has passed us by too fast. Again, pondering the same post I mentioned a moment ago, I was also speaking about living in the now. Good thing at times like these, life can pass you by too quickly! Taking note, this being a perfect example…

I am pleased to say that I am back and ready to start focusing on my goals. Namely one very big one I set for myself and that is to concentrate more on my writing. And so, after much deliberation on recent events in my own life (some great ones like my mom’s wedding, and others not so great such as getting my heart broken by nearest and dearest people to me); I look ahead with anticipation to the task ahead of me. Instead of dwelling on the negative, I always choose positivity, and how I can use this to my advantage. One way I have managed this in the past, is to write – whether it is submerging myself in my novels, or expressing my feelings (whatever they may be at the time) in poetry. So look out for more on these later. I have updated my blog a bit to accommodate news and info on this, so I feel I am set and ready to go! :)

In other words, there is no time like the present! Now is the time to do what you dreamed of, been putting off or keep forgetting due to life getting in the way. It is time to make time for my passions in life, and you should do the same. One never knows when it is too late and today was your last. I encourage you all to keep persevering. We have all been blessed with certain gifts, and is up to us to develop and use these talents to make something of them, and so in turn, help others along the way. This year is to be the year that I start getting somewhere with my dreams to publish my work. What will you be doing and focusing on, to get ahead?

Merry Christmas!

Best wishes to and yours, may you be blessed now and throughout the coming year. Praying for love, happiness, success and good things for you all.

Let us remember the less fortunate, the homeless, orphans and lonely souls out there in this time. My thoughts and prayers go out to them, and I just realise all over again how blessed we really are, in so many ways.

Hope it was a marvelous day. Merry Christmas guys!